Why Do People Use A Surrogate To Have A Baby?
Most people do not know much about surrogacy, or why people use surrogates to have a baby. Unfortunately, much information about surrogacy that is “out there” in the news and media is not accurate or it is sensationalized to attract reader/viewers/ratings. If you or someone you know and care about is considering surrogacy to build their family, the following information will highlight the various reasons why people use surrogacy to have a baby.
There are numerous reasons why people use a surrogate to expand their family. Some couples opt for surrogacy when facing difficulties to conceive a child on their own. However, it’s not just couples struggling with infertility who decide to use a surrogate mother. Below are some of the many reasons people choose surrogacy:
Infertility: Infertility is the most common reason heterosexual couples consider surrogacy to complete their families. Oftentimes multiple miscarriages lead people to utilize a surrogate mother to have a baby. Sometimes unexplained infertility with multiple failed treatment attempts will lead people to surrogacy to build their family.
Medical Conditions: A woman may be advised to forgo pregnancy because of medical conditions such as heart disease, infectious diseases transmitted to babies via pregnancy, kidney failure, autoimmune disorders and other diagnoses that could make pregnancy or childbirth dangerous for either the mother, baby or both. Some women may experience serious health issues in a prior pregnancy that make future pregnancies extremely risky.
Hysterectomy or Lack of Uterus: Women who have undergone a hysterectomy for medical reasons, or who were born without a uterus cannot carry a pregnancy may still be able to produce eggs for in vitro fertilization. If they are not able to utilize their own eggs, these women will use donated eggs to create embryos.
Advanced Maternal Age: Women in their forties and older are often at a higher risk of pregnancy complications. For these patients, using a surrogate reduces risk of miscarriage or unsuccessful treatment to conceive.
Same-Sex Couples: Surrogacy can be the answer for same-sex couples who want to add a baby to their family. Gay surrogacy gives men the option to have a genetic connection to their child(ren), and also to be a part of the pregnancy throughout the entire journey. Also, since the baby the surrogate is carrying is legally their child, there is no risk of a birth mother changing her mind as with famiy-building through adoption.
Single Individuals: Men who are single but want to pursue parenthood can choose a surrogate and an egg donor to become a father. Likewise, A single woman with an inability to conceive or carry a baby to full-term will require the help of a surrogate mother.
We have discussed the different reasons people use a surrogate, let’s discuss the types of surrogacy. The term surrogacy is general used to describe one of two types of surrogacy:
A gestational surrogate is not genetically connected to the child they carry in their uterus. Gestational surrogates get pregnant when an embryo that was previously created through in vitro fertilization is transferred into her uterus. The embryo is created with either intended mother’s egg or donor egg, and intended father’s sperm or donor sperm. Gestational surrogates are referred to as gestational carriers in the medical and legal fields of reproductive medicine.
A traditional surrogate both donates her own egg and carries a pregnancy for an individual or couple. The pregnancy is usually achieved through intrauterine insemination (IUI) with sperm from the intended father. Donor sperm may also be used.
At Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency we know every family has different needs, and we will take the time to understand your unique situation and individual desires to help you start your family. If you’re considering building your family through surrogacy, the team at Pathways To Parenthood can guide you through the process.
It’s A Match. Surrogate Annie Matches With Her Perfect Family!
So, you have decided to become a surrogate. You have met the requirements, and now you are ready for the exciting part — the matching process! This is where you will meet prospective intended parents and choose who you want to work with over the course of the surrogacy journey. It may seem a little like an interview but think of it more of an opportunity to see if you’re compatible with the intended parents and a good match to be on this journey with. At Pathways To Parenthood, we are devoted to matching you with your perfect family, while eliminating the anxiety this step can often come with.
To help ease your nerves and to understand the matching process better, we sat down with Surrogate mother Annie, who just went through the matching process with her Intended Parents.
How did you know the family you matched with was the right match for you?
It was just a feeling! Truly! As soon as I saw their profile I was excited to get to know them. Then after our first call I was hooked. Our personalities are similar and we were able to discuss a lot of what we wanted out of our journey together, which draws the deal for me. The conversation flowed and I felt at ease with them from the start.
How did your surrogacy agency help you during the matching process?
Pathways To Parenthood was a huge help with the matching process. First off, they were the ones that introduced us. That is what is great about working with an agency! They vet all applicants for you and connect you with intended parents they feel you may like. When I was going through my matching process, Pathways to Parenthood helped me work through my emotions and thoughts when interviewing potential intended parents. It was was nice to have their support, as well as knowledge, when choosing the family I wanted to work with, and that wanted to work with me.
What was your matching meeting like?
Our first call was via FaceTime! We had exchanged a few texts setting up a time to meet for coffee but when that didn’t work out, FaceTime was the next best thing. Both the intended mother and I had found out prior we actually had a few mutual friends so I felt like we already had a connection from the very start. We spent about an hour on the phone just getting to know each other and sharing our stories of previous surrogacy journeys. I knew within the first 10 mins I wanted to work with them! They were just so funny and kind. I really felt like we would make a good team.
What questions did you have for your Intended Parents?
During a matching call I feel it is really important to focus on getting to know the couple. I wanted to hear their story of what lead them to surrogacy and all about their previous journey. To me, this is a time to make sure your personalities work well together, and you genuinely want to work with them.
What type of relationship do you want to have with your intended parents during the surrogacy process? Did you discuss that during the matching process?
It’s important to me that the intended parents are as involved as they want to be. I went into my first surrogacy journey not really knowing what type of relationship I wanted with my intended parents, and we took on a very business-like approach. We were in separate states so it was hard to develop a real personal relationship. We still keep in touch with updates, and I love that they continue to think of me. However, coming into this journey with my current IPs, I look forward to them being local and for them being more involved.
What is your advice for women considering becoming a surrogate who might be uneasy about the surrogacy matching process?
My advice would be to just be yourself and follow your gut. It’s important to match with a couple that you are comfortable with and feel they will support you. Surrogacy is a long journey but totally worth it. It’s important to match with people you like and people that want the same things as you. This is your journey as much as it is theirs and both sides deserve to get everything they want out of the process. It’s okay to be selective. My first journey I was fortunate enough to match with the first family Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency introduced me to. This time around it was “third times a charm”. I’m so glad I took the time to think about how I wanted this journey to go. It’s been great so far!
It is amazing to hear and share a surrogate’s unique experience. It makes us even more grateful to be able to work with amazing women like Annie.
Are you interested in embarking on this journey to become a surrogate? Now is the best time to join our agency. We have families waiting for their surrogate! If you live in the Midwest, we are the surrogacy agency for you! You can contact us at 913-469-5500 or at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com
What to Expect After a Surrogate Birth
As a surrogate, you have the chance to make parenthood possible for someone who otherwise would not have the opportunity. If you’re considering making this life changing choice, you have many questions about the surrogacy process and what to expect. Although there are many steps in the process before the happy ending, it is the best step in the process of surrogacy! This blog post gives you an idea of what you can expect from this very special part of a being a surrogate mother.
Online you can find what to expect and what the surrogacy process is like but the best way to learn about a journey as a surrogate is through firsthand experience from someone who knows. For our Surrogate Mother feature, we sat down (virtually) with Surrogate Veronica. Veronica recently delivered a healthy baby girl for her Intended Parents in early January.
How was your delivery and what were your Intended Parent’s involvement?
My delivery thankfully went really well! We had an induction scheduled but baby decided to surprise us all by coming the day before! I called the IP’s and let them know I was in labor and headed to the hospital. We each had our own room in labor and delivery. We agreed IP’s could come in to my room once it was time to push. I absolutely adore my IP’s but I also didn’t want to be nervous trying to labor with them in the room. Other than baby coming one day early, we had an easy delivery where pretty much everything went according to plan. The parents came in when it was time to push so that the baby could go straight to them.
What were your feelings when you saw the IP’s held their baby for the first time?
It was honestly magical! You know, that’s the thing that you’ve been looking forward to all this time— and then it’s finally here! And there’s this crazy sense of achievement. We did it! We decided to do this thing together, to trust each other, and here we are and everything came out as we hoped.
What happened immediately after delivery?
The Intended Mother held the baby, while the Intended Father cut the cord. They took the baby over to a corner of the room where the nurses checked her out and tended to her while my doctor was taking care of me. It was up to the Intended Parents if they wanted to go back to their room or stay with me. I’m so glad they stayed for a while so I could watch them and be a part of their joy. It was really a special moment! After baby and I were each attended to by our respective medical teams, I held her for a minute, and we took some pictures.
What happened before everyone left the hospital?
I only stayed one night and we had different rooms so before I left, I went to their room to say goodbye. We did some paperwork and I held the baby one more time and hugged my Intended Parent’s and told them congratulations!
What type of relationship are you hoping to have with IPs and the baby now?
They have texted me pictures and updates occasionally and that is the perfect relationship for me. I hope that continues into the future.
Did you discuss what type of relationship you would have prior to having the baby?
We kind of agreed whatever happened organically would be good. They will always have a special place in my heart and I’m sure we’ll just send each other the occasional updates on our kids.
How do you feel about your surrogacy process now that you have been through the process?
Since this was my first time being a surrogate mother, I was a little unsure of what to expect about being a surrogate. However, It was everything I hoped it would be. Helping people grow their family is such an amazing gift and I feel so lucky to be able to do that for someone.
Any advice you would give to those thinking about becoming a surrogate?
It’s a really amazing and special experience. There are a lot of hurdles along the way but I’m so glad I stuck with it to get to the end.
Surrogacy is a gift unlike any other and one that only a woman like you can give to hopeful parents. If you’ve decided to become a surrogate, let Pathways to Parenthood Surrogacy Agency guide you through the process. View our guidelines for surrogate mothers to find out if you qualify to become a surrogate. We have helped surrogates and intended parents come together in Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois and Arkansas, Ohio and Kentucky! You can contact us at 913-469-5500 or at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com
Surrogacy Process For Gay Couples: 5 Steps To Get Started
You found “the one” and you are ready to grow your family! You have multiple options to consider, one being using a surrogate mother to have a baby. If you are considering surrogacy as a family building option, there are many steps in the surrogacy process, and it can be a bit overwhelming to know where to start. You can start here by considering these 5 steps to get you started on what may be the biggest journey of your life!
The surrogacy process for gay couples and straight couples is the same in most ways. There are additional considerations for gay intended parents who are at the early stages of considering surrogacy to build their family.
- Understanding the Differences of Gestational vs. Traditional Surrogacy: In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate mother (also often called the gestational carrier) is not biologically related to the baby she is carrying. Instead, the embryo is created in the laboratory using in vitro fertilization (IVF). The embryo may be created using a donor egg and the intended father’s sperm. It is then transferred to the surrogate’s uterus at the fertility clinic. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate doubles as the egg donor and is the biological mother of the baby she is carrying; the embryos are created using sperm from the intended father in a process called intrauterine insemination (IUI). Because the traditional surrogacy process can be more legally and emotionally complicated, this form of surrogacy is now far less common than gestational surrogacy.
- Surrogate mother options: One of the biggest questions is: who will be my surrogate? Some people choose to find a surrogate they did not previously know, either through an agency or through an independent search. Others feel very strongly that they would like their surrogate to be a trusted friend or family member.
- Independent Surrogacy vs. Agency Surrogacy: Generally, there are two types of surrogacy when it comes to working with a professional: an agency surrogacy and an independent surrogacy. In an agency surrogacy, intended parents (that’s you) and surrogates work with a surrogacy agency throughout the entire process: the initial screening, the drafting of the surrogacy plan, finding a match, and coordination of the different legal and medical processes. In an independent surrogacy, intended parents and surrogates usually only work with a surrogacy lawyer specializing in third-party reproduction and a fertility clinic to complete their surrogacy process.
- Financial Investment: Most parents would agree that children are priceless—but no one would argue that having children is expensive. If you’re considering surrogacy, you may be wondering about the average cost of surrogacy, which includes surrogate compensation, surrogate health insurance, surrogacy medical expenses, legal expenses and more. The cost of surrogacy gives many intended parents pause, but when you consider surrogacy as an investment, it is worth the cost. The reality is that most people don’t have the money laying around at the ready to cover the cost of surrogacy. But there are some strategies hopeful parents can use to find funds. Such as, employee benefits and health insurance. It isn’t terribly common, but your employer may have a surrogacy benefit. Personal savings is another option, if you have cash accessible in a savings account or dedicated investment account, that’s a great place to take funds. Consider asking parents, family and friends for assistance in funding your surrogacy. Many will go the route of a bank loan, a second mortgage, a home equity line of credit or pull from their retirement accounts. Ultimately you need to make the decision in choosing how to finance your family that is best for you and your partner.
- Understanding the legal process: Each state has its own surrogacy laws. Some states are friendlier to the process than others. Before you begin your surrogacy journey, you must understand the legal processes governing surrogacy in your state and this is where an experienced attorney specializing in Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) can help.
Lastly, it is important to understand that unlike straight surrogacy, in which both parents’ genetics are often used to create an embryo, gay intended parents must decide whose sperm will be used. This is an important step in the process to discuss with your partner whose sperm will be used to fertilize the egg. Some, intended fathers choose to fertilize multiple eggs for implantation using both partners’ sperm, allowing either or both of them to be the biological father of a child. Because surrogacy for gay men require a surrogate and an egg donor, it’s important to consider if you will use a anonymous egg donor or choose to work with an identified donor like a family member or close friend.
At Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency we know every family has different needs, and we will take the time to understand your unique situation and individual desires to help you start your family. If you’re a gay couple and you’re considering building your family, the team at Pathways To Parenthood can guide you through the process.