8 Signs You Would Make A Good Surrogate
If you’re like many women considering becoming a surrogate, you’ve known for a long time that this is something you want to do. But every woman who considers surrogacy asks herself the same questions: Would I make a good surrogate? Is surrogacy right for me?
Choosing to carry a pregnancy for someone else is a big, life-changing decision, and there are many factors to consider before becoming a surrogate mother. Here are eight things to consider to help determine whether surrogacy is right for you.
You’re Becoming A Surrogate Mother For The Right Reasons
While being a surrogate has its financial benefits, money can’t be your biggest motivation. A surrogate should be someone who is primarily focused on giving, not receiving. Women who make amazing surrogates are those who hope to give an incredible gift and make a real impact on another person’s life.
You Are Healthy
One of the most important qualifications for a surrogate is a healthy lifestyle and medical history. This helps ensure a healthy pregnancy for both you as the surrogate, and the child you carry. Certain physical qualifications need to be met, such as a healthy body mass index (BMI), not being a smoker or drug user, and be within a certain age limit.
You Have Had A Healthy Pregnancy/Pregnancies
You must have had at least one healthy, complication free pregnancy and delivery. You cannot have had more than 5 pregnancies however, or more than 2 C-section deliveries.
You Enjoy Being Pregnant
Some women simply glow throughout their pregnancies. While many women couldn’t imagine being pregnant because they love being pregnant, surrogates have a special connection to pregnancy and often feel their best when carrying a child, whether that be for their own family or someone else’s.
You Are Organized
Surrogacy doesn’t just come together — it takes months of planning, interviews, meetings, and more before you even begin the pregnancy process. Throughout pregnancy, it’s imperative to track important pregnancy metrics, keep up with doctor’s visits, and maintain your everyday life at home, all the while planning for your impending delivery. Because of this, surrogate mothers must have strong organizational skills to be able to balance the demands of everyday life and being a surrogate.
You Are A Good Communicator
Good Communication is key to being a surrogate. Your Intended Parent’s will want to know how you’re doing, what’s coming up, and what they can help with. They’ll also want to see photos and maybe an occasional video. It’s important to know how to be open and honest with all involved parties though the surrogacy process.
You Have A Good Support Network
No matter how strong you are, there will always be times when you need the support of other people. Friends and family are essential, and they should be on hand whether you need to celebrate, talk things over, or cry on a shoulder. They’ll also need to accompany you to certain appointments and procedures. In fact, one of the prerequisites when applying to become a surrogate is that you have a support person. This could be a partner, a family member, or a close friend: someone you love and trust. If you have more than one support person, all the better!
You Are Financially Stable
While being a surrogate does qualify you for surrogate compensation, you should be financially independent before starting the surrogacy journey. Our surrogates may not be receiving welfare, using Medicaid, or supplemental security income (SSI).
Is Surrogacy Right For You?
If you’ve decided to become a surrogate, or have questions about becoming a surrogate, Pathways to Parenthood can answer your questions and guide you through the process. We have helped surrogates and intended parents come together in Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois and Arkansas, Ohio and Kentucky. We can help you too!
Patience And The Surrogacy Process
You may be a generous, giving woman that has recently decided to become a surrogate. Or you may be ready to be parents that decided to begin the surrogacy process to grow your family. Both starting points are filled with excitement and optimism of beginning something that leads to a dream come true for everyone involved.
The end of the surrogacy process for women who become surrogates and parents to be is truly a beautiful and special time. The path to get to that special time is filled with many steps, processes, procedures, requirements, and potentially delays and setbacks. That is where patience comes in. Patience is not something that most of us are very good at unless we focus our efforts to be patient. Or be more patient. In addition, most of us also do not like to hear that we need to be patient. Or be more patient. But having patience with the surrogacy process will allow you to be able to persevere through all of the steps, processes, procedures, requirements and any delays or setbacks. Because in the end, it will be worth it.
One important way to help yourself be more patient with the surrogacy process is to know what to expect during your journey. A surrogacy agency will be able to explain the surrogacy process in detail which will ensure that your expectations are realistic. Also, a surrogacy agency will be able to provide the framework for all steps in the surrogacy process, including delays and setbacks so that you have an expert working with you side by side helping you navigate as efficiently as possible.
Having a good support system will also help you be more patient during the surrogacy process. A surrogacy agency can offer you support throughout your journey; however it is important to find multiple areas of support. Take good care of yourself. Get good sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise. The better you feel physically and mentally, the better equipped you will be to manage the surrogacy process well by being patient with yourself and others.
Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency can help you get started today! We can answer your questions about the surrogacy process, so you know what to expect and how to get started. Contact us to schedule a consultation appointment. We can help you like we have helped many other surrogates and future parents in Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois, Arkansas, Ohio and Kentucky. We look forward to hearing from you!
The Surrogacy Pregnancy Half-Way Point
Featuring: Surrogate Annie McCabe
Surrogate Annie McCabe is not a newcomer to the surrogacy process or the milestone 20-week appointment. Annie is now more than halfway through her second surrogacy pregnancy, and she has had two prior pregnancies for her own two children. But the anticipation and excitement of the 20-week sonogram appointment is as exciting as it ever was!
Annie shared her thoughts and feelings about her recent 20-week check-up appointment by answering a few questions about the experience.
1. Did the parents join you for the appointment?
Yes! The parents attended the appointment with me! I loved having them there and sharing the moment. I feel like the 20-week appointment is a big one and it’s the first chance to really see the baby. Makes it all very real for everyone!
2, Did you find out the gender of the baby?
We did not. The intended parents have decided to wait!! Which I love!! I found out with both my keepers, and they found out with their first, so we are all excited about finding out at delivery.
3. What was the best part of the appointment for you?
Just seeing the baby!! I loved seeing the little legs and arms move. We had trouble getting a good profile shot but the parents ended up with great pictures of the baby’s face. It’s so amazing how much change has happened between that first ultrasound and the 20-week scan.
4. What was the biggest difference between your pregnancies for your own children and your surrogacy pregnancy?
You know I was just as excited about this appointment as a surrogate as I was with my other pregnancies. There is just something about seeing life growing that is so surreal. And as surrogate, to be a part of that experience with and for another family is indescribable!
5. What did you do immediately after the appointment?
We looked at the sonogram pictures and were amazed at how great and detailed they were! The parents got some great pictures! We then said our goodbyes and headed off to work.
If you are thinking about becoming a surrogate like Annie, or are looking for the perfect surrogate to grow your family, Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency can help you get started today! We can answer your questions about the surrogacy process, so you know what to expect and how to get started. Contact us to schedule a consultation appointment. We can help you like we have helped many other surrogates and future parents in Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois, Arkansas, Ohio, Kentucky and New York. We look forward to hearing from you!
Happy Father’s Day!
Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency wishes all fathers a wonderful time on their special day. But we are especially excited to be able to wish Happy Father’s Day to our clients Dominik and Dennis. This is a special Father’s Day for first time Dads Dominik & Dennis. Dominik and Dennis welcomed their first-born child earlier this year.
Becoming a first-time Dad is an exciting, life-changing, and somewhat scary life experience! For Dominik and Dennis, their journey to becoming parents through egg donation and surrogacy gave them lots of time to get prepared. The egg donation process and surrogacy process gave them an extended “pre-natal” period of time, which was also filled with excitement, anticipation, and a bit of fear of the unknown!
Dominik and Dennis share their experience on their egg donation process with San Diego Fertility Center and their surrogacy process with Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency. They also share their thoughts and emotions on meeting their son for the first time and adjusting to their new life.
1.How long did it take to go through the egg donation process and surrogacy process before you became pregnant?
We started selecting an egg donor with San Diego Fertility Center early April 2020. The embryo transfer was in June 2021 as we had to wait for our surrogacy process to complete. Our first embryo transfer was successful, and we received a positive pregnancy in July!
2. Were there any surprises or unexpected events (COVID!!!) or unexpected feelings during the egg donation process and/or the surrogacy process?
What really made the whole process difficult for us, was the Covid pandemic and the travel ban that made it impossible for us to come to the United States from Germany. We always had imagined meeting all parties in person prior to starting the process, but that was not possible. It felt odd to put that much trust into people you haven’t met in person. Yet we were surprised how well everything worked out meeting virtually and how much trust we gained virtually in the people involved. Once pregnancy was confirmed, it felt unreal, that a person across the Atlantic was pregnant with our baby. We were able to meet our surrogate early in pregnancy when she traveled to Europe and then were able to travel to the United states on a National Interest Exception for the 20 week ultrasound. We were also able to meet our contacts at our surrogacy agency, Pathways To Parenthood, and our attorney Joni Franklin.
3. What was the relationship with your surrogate like?
From the moment we were introduced to begin the matching process we were in daily contact getting to know each other. When we first met our surrogate in person, it felt like meeting a good friend. We really enjoyed the time with her when we came to the United States for the birth of our son. We met often for dinner and other fun activities both before and after birth. Our wishes were to have a good relationship during pregnancy (we did!) and also in the years to come. So far it is going well!
4. What was it like/what were your initial feelings seeing your son for the first time?
It was a very emotional moment for all of us, including our surrogate and her support person. We were so overwhelmed during skin-to-skin bonding with our son. We had tears of joy because for the longest time of our lives we thought that as gay men we would never be able to experience this moment. It still amazes us how powerful the bonds and relationships are that were created during this long journey of planning, trust, love and much more.
5. What has been the biggest adjustment in your lives being first time parents?
The biggest adjustment is probably an obvious one: getting up every two to three hours at night to feed the baby :-). Not much sleep! We also learned quickly that even the smallest trip takes a lot of planning. Having to consider whether plans fit into the baby’s feeding, sleeping and diaper schedule is a big adjustment, but a welcome one! Another big adjustment is for our relationship to not be able to find much quiet time to just enjoy a glass of wine or watch a movie. Life is especially busy now, so we need to divide chores to be able to get everything done whereas before the birth of our son, we used to do most of them together.
6. What are your plans for your first Father’s Day?
In Germany Father’s Day is celebrated on Ascension Day in May. On this day it is tradition to go on a hike with many friends and take a handcart that is stocked with beer. However, for our first Father’s Day, we spent the day sleeping in, taking naps, and enjoying time with our son.
7. What advice do you have for men just starting their journey to parenthood through egg donation and surrogacy?
Trust your instincts! Take your time and choose a surrogacy agency that fits your style. It is important to form a strong connection to your surrogate. In our opinion, it is important to be able to tell your kid in the future openly and age-appropriately how they came into the world. Also, we think it is important that they have the chance to meet their surrogate and egg donor if they wish to do so in the future.