On Becoming A Surrogate…….AGAIN!
The decision to become a surrogate is one that most women give much thought to before moving forward in the surrogacy process. There are many things to consider and learn before knowing if becoming a surrogate is the right decision for you. And it is important to take the time to be thoughtful, do research about surrogacy, talk to past surrogates, talk to a surrogacy agency (like Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency!) and be absolutely sure you want to commit to becoming a surrogate.
For surrogate Veronica, her decision to become a surrogate for a second time was a quick and easy decision for her! She had a wonderful experience during her first surrogacy process and was ready right away to help another family realize their dream of becoming parents. We are thankful that Veronica is ready and willing to help another Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy family by being their surrogate.
Read below about Veronica’s first surrogacy journey and her decision to become a surrogate….again!
1. Describe your first surrogacy journey? What is the most memorable part of the surrogacy process/pregnancy/post-birth?
My first surrogacy journey was absolutely perfect! It was such a joy working with very kind intended parents. My pregnancy was very easy! As much as I loved being pregnant, it was so nice to come home post-birth without a newborn to attend to! The best part overall was watching the intended parents get to be parents (again) at the birth. Their joy was infectious and being a part of that moment for another family was magical.
2. What made you want to become a surrogate again? Why now?
It was such a good experience the first time that there was no reason not to do it again! I pretty much decided I wanted to be a surrogate again as soon as possible. I spoke with my surrogacy agency about my wishes, and we worked together to match with a family and go through all of the steps in the surrogacy process to do an embryo transfer at around 1-year post- partum since that is the recommendation of my OB/GYN.
3. Did your husband and children have a positive experience during your surrogacy pregnancy? Afterwards?
Yes! My husband also enjoyed being able to watch the intended parents become parents. And for my kids it was a very hands-on lesson in “not every family is made the same way.” It was also a one of a kind way to teach them about helping others.
4. Anything you would like to be different for your next surrogacy journey?
Honestly, it’s hard to imagine improving on the first experience. Maybe take more pictures. I’m so bad at remembering to document things.
5. What advice would you give to someone considering becoming a surrogate?
Some first-time surrogates think about what they will feel like emotionally being pregnant as a surrogate and having someone else’s baby. I was unsure how I would feel emotionally being pregnant with someone else’s child. I am here to say that it all just fell into place so easily. It is an emotional experience but it’s not the same as when the baby is your own. The joy of watching someone else receive that gift is something I will treasure forever. So my advice would be to focus on the end point of the surrogacy process and if you can imagine feeling joyous giving the gift of a baby and family to intended parents, then you will know that surrogacy is the right choice for you.
We have intended parents waiting to be matched with a surrogate to grow their families! Amazing surrogates are needed now more than ever! If you’ve decided to become a surrogate, now is a great time to get started. If you live in the Midwest, we are the surrogacy agency for you! You can contact us at 913-469-5500 or at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com
Surrogate Amanda: The Perfect Ending To A Surrogacy Journey!
Deciding to become a surrogate is the first step in one of the most unique and rewarding life experiences. As Pathways To Parenthood’s surrogate Amanda highlights in her story, the surrogacy process has many steps, potential stops and starts, and unexpected turns. But the end of her surrogacy journey led to a beautiful life and a beautiful new start for a family that made it all worth it!
Amanda recently culminated her amazing surrogacy journey delivering a beautiful, healthy baby girl. She shared some of her thoughts about her surrogacy journey with us recently.
What was the best part of your surrogacy journey (aside from the birth of a beautiful baby)?
There were many high points in my surrogacy pregnancy. I enjoyed the relationship that I formed with the intended parents and other surrogates I met along the way. I appreciated the strong work of my surrogacy agency, as well as my legal and medical teams. The best part of this journey was having the opportunity to experience pregnancy again in such a new and exciting way. My intended parents gave me the honor of creating and protecting their miracle baby, and I was fascinated by each change in my body as it morphed and made room for their child to grow and come into this world.
What was it like to see your intended parents hold their baby after you gave birth?
I got to see the moment they put this little baby into her mother’s arms. I can’t begin to quantify the bewildered joy on her face, but I knew in that moment that any struggle in this journey was worth it. Seeing baby snuggled with her parents in the hospital almost brought me to tears. I was reminded of why I did this, to unite these wonderful people with their precious miracle.
How did you feel after the baby was born?
Initially, I was elated, exhausted, and sore. As the days went on after delivery, I got to ride the hormonal rollercoaster. About the time the excess fluid left, so did my excess in moods. Never underestimate the power of hormones. I got through it, and my body has been steadily on the mend. I have been able to exercise regularly and have established a good schedule for pumping breast milk for surro-baby.
Do you think that you will be a surrogate again?
I would become a surrogate again without hesitation. Despite its challenges, this experience was so joyful and positively life-altering that it solidified my desire to complete another journey.
Do you have any advice for women that are considering becoming a surrogate?
This experience will change you as a person, so please take your time deciding whether you want to take this journey. Even under the best circumstances, it requires a level of hard work and dedication found almost nowhere else in life. Prepare yourself for the potentials for heartache and loss, because not everything goes according to plan. Expect to adapt throughout the process like my IPs and I did during a global pandemic and major law changes. This journey will also not be a fast one. There are an incredible number of elements in a surrogacy journey, and they all necessitate their own time frames to ensure everyone’s health and safety. With that being said, there is an immense amount of joy in the experience of being a surrogate. You will meet amazing people, have outstanding teams working with you, get to be a part of a medically miraculous experience, and potentially (and likely) bring a precious child into this world to help start or complete a family.
Happy Father’s Day!
Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency wishes all fathers a wonderful time on their special day. But we are especially excited to be able to wish Happy Father’s Day to our clients Dominik and Dennis. This is a special Father’s Day for first time Dads Dominik & Dennis. Dominik and Dennis welcomed their first-born child earlier this year.
Becoming a first-time Dad is an exciting, life-changing, and somewhat scary life experience! For Dominik and Dennis, their journey to becoming parents through egg donation and surrogacy gave them lots of time to get prepared. The egg donation process and surrogacy process gave them an extended “pre-natal” period of time, which was also filled with excitement, anticipation, and a bit of fear of the unknown!
Dominik and Dennis share their experience on their egg donation process with San Diego Fertility Center and their surrogacy process with Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency. They also share their thoughts and emotions on meeting their son for the first time and adjusting to their new life.
1.How long did it take to go through the egg donation process and surrogacy process before you became pregnant?
We started selecting an egg donor with San Diego Fertility Center early April 2020. The embryo transfer was in June 2021 as we had to wait for our surrogacy process to complete. Our first embryo transfer was successful, and we received a positive pregnancy in July!
2. Were there any surprises or unexpected events (COVID!!!) or unexpected feelings during the egg donation process and/or the surrogacy process?
What really made the whole process difficult for us, was the Covid pandemic and the travel ban that made it impossible for us to come to the United States from Germany. We always had imagined meeting all parties in person prior to starting the process, but that was not possible. It felt odd to put that much trust into people you haven’t met in person. Yet we were surprised how well everything worked out meeting virtually and how much trust we gained virtually in the people involved. Once pregnancy was confirmed, it felt unreal, that a person across the Atlantic was pregnant with our baby. We were able to meet our surrogate early in pregnancy when she traveled to Europe and then were able to travel to the United states on a National Interest Exception for the 20 week ultrasound. We were also able to meet our contacts at our surrogacy agency, Pathways To Parenthood, and our attorney Joni Franklin.
3. What was the relationship with your surrogate like?
From the moment we were introduced to begin the matching process we were in daily contact getting to know each other. When we first met our surrogate in person, it felt like meeting a good friend. We really enjoyed the time with her when we came to the United States for the birth of our son. We met often for dinner and other fun activities both before and after birth. Our wishes were to have a good relationship during pregnancy (we did!) and also in the years to come. So far it is going well!
4. What was it like/what were your initial feelings seeing your son for the first time?
It was a very emotional moment for all of us, including our surrogate and her support person. We were so overwhelmed during skin-to-skin bonding with our son. We had tears of joy because for the longest time of our lives we thought that as gay men we would never be able to experience this moment. It still amazes us how powerful the bonds and relationships are that were created during this long journey of planning, trust, love and much more.
5. What has been the biggest adjustment in your lives being first time parents?
The biggest adjustment is probably an obvious one: getting up every two to three hours at night to feed the baby :-). Not much sleep! We also learned quickly that even the smallest trip takes a lot of planning. Having to consider whether plans fit into the baby’s feeding, sleeping and diaper schedule is a big adjustment, but a welcome one! Another big adjustment is for our relationship to not be able to find much quiet time to just enjoy a glass of wine or watch a movie. Life is especially busy now, so we need to divide chores to be able to get everything done whereas before the birth of our son, we used to do most of them together.
6. What are your plans for your first Father’s Day?
In Germany Father’s Day is celebrated on Ascension Day in May. On this day it is tradition to go on a hike with many friends and take a handcart that is stocked with beer. However, for our first Father’s Day, we spent the day sleeping in, taking naps, and enjoying time with our son.
7. What advice do you have for men just starting their journey to parenthood through egg donation and surrogacy?
Trust your instincts! Take your time and choose a surrogacy agency that fits your style. It is important to form a strong connection to your surrogate. In our opinion, it is important to be able to tell your kid in the future openly and age-appropriately how they came into the world. Also, we think it is important that they have the chance to meet their surrogate and egg donor if they wish to do so in the future.
Why Do People Use A Surrogate To Have A Baby?
Most people do not know much about surrogacy, or why people use surrogates to have a baby. Unfortunately, much information about surrogacy that is “out there” in the news and media is not accurate or it is sensationalized to attract reader/viewers/ratings. If you or someone you know and care about is considering surrogacy to build their family, the following information will highlight the various reasons why people use surrogacy to have a baby.
There are numerous reasons why people use a surrogate to expand their family. Some couples opt for surrogacy when facing difficulties to conceive a child on their own. However, it’s not just couples struggling with infertility who decide to use a surrogate mother. Below are some of the many reasons people choose surrogacy:
Infertility: Infertility is the most common reason heterosexual couples consider surrogacy to complete their families. Oftentimes multiple miscarriages lead people to utilize a surrogate mother to have a baby. Sometimes unexplained infertility with multiple failed treatment attempts will lead people to surrogacy to build their family.
Medical Conditions: A woman may be advised to forgo pregnancy because of medical conditions such as heart disease, infectious diseases transmitted to babies via pregnancy, kidney failure, autoimmune disorders and other diagnoses that could make pregnancy or childbirth dangerous for either the mother, baby or both. Some women may experience serious health issues in a prior pregnancy that make future pregnancies extremely risky.
Hysterectomy or Lack of Uterus: Women who have undergone a hysterectomy for medical reasons, or who were born without a uterus cannot carry a pregnancy may still be able to produce eggs for in vitro fertilization. If they are not able to utilize their own eggs, these women will use donated eggs to create embryos.
Advanced Maternal Age: Women in their forties and older are often at a higher risk of pregnancy complications. For these patients, using a surrogate reduces risk of miscarriage or unsuccessful treatment to conceive.
Same-Sex Couples: Surrogacy can be the answer for same-sex couples who want to add a baby to their family. Gay surrogacy gives men the option to have a genetic connection to their child(ren), and also to be a part of the pregnancy throughout the entire journey. Also, since the baby the surrogate is carrying is legally their child, there is no risk of a birth mother changing her mind as with famiy-building through adoption.
Single Individuals: Men who are single but want to pursue parenthood can choose a surrogate and an egg donor to become a father. Likewise, A single woman with an inability to conceive or carry a baby to full-term will require the help of a surrogate mother.
We have discussed the different reasons people use a surrogate, let’s discuss the types of surrogacy. The term surrogacy is general used to describe one of two types of surrogacy:
A gestational surrogate is not genetically connected to the child they carry in their uterus. Gestational surrogates get pregnant when an embryo that was previously created through in vitro fertilization is transferred into her uterus. The embryo is created with either intended mother’s egg or donor egg, and intended father’s sperm or donor sperm. Gestational surrogates are referred to as gestational carriers in the medical and legal fields of reproductive medicine.
A traditional surrogate both donates her own egg and carries a pregnancy for an individual or couple. The pregnancy is usually achieved through intrauterine insemination (IUI) with sperm from the intended father. Donor sperm may also be used.
At Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency we know every family has different needs, and we will take the time to understand your unique situation and individual desires to help you start your family. If you’re considering building your family through surrogacy, the team at Pathways To Parenthood can guide you through the process.