My Surrogacy Experience; By Haley Casillas
I have come to learn that life is a compilation of experiences. Some are beautiful,
some are challenging, and some are life altering. And some are in a category all by
themselves, hard to compare to any other. My journey to and through surrogacy
was unlike anything else I have experienced. It is indescribable because it is so
hard to find words to express what it was like to help a family achieve their
dreams by giving them the gift of life. In hopes of encouraging other women to
consider becoming a surrogate to help others in this way, and to also give hope to
deserving families that surrogacy can help them realize their dreams of becoming
parents, I would like to share what the surrogacy process was like for me.
There were many factors that led up to me becoming a surrogate. It started with
my mom’s kind words that I heard her express when I was young, stating she
would be willing to help someone she loves by carrying a baby for them if they
needed her help. The birth of my own child, and the knowing of love and
happiness that comes with it awoke the memory of my mom’s words from years
ago. I now could understand why she said them. And then my long road through
a marriage that did not work out as I had hoped, and my journey back to my
family to start my life over, is the catalyst that brought me closer to my surrogacy
journey.
Upon returning home and reconnecting with family and friends, I met a woman
who had recently been a surrogate. Listening to her experience ignited a desire in
me to learn more about becoming a surrogate. It was amazing to hear her
surrogacy story. I wanted to learn more about helping others through surrogacy
so I decided to start with contacting a surrogacy agency. The woman who had
shared her surrogacy journey with me stated her surrogacy agency was Pathways
To Parenthood, so I decided to reach out to them to get started.
Once I spoke with Kerry at Pathways To Parenthood, I knew that I wanted to
move forward in the screening process to become a surrogate. After going
through the screening process to become a surrogate, I learned that I was of
sound mind (whew!) and body, and I was one step closer to realizing my dream of
becoming a surrogate! The next steps in the surrogacy process were the
beginnings of matching with my family! It was truly special! I will write more
about that later! Thanks for reading the first part of my story. To be continued…..
If it is your dream to help a family become parents by becoming a
surrogate, contact Pathways To Parenthood today and get started.
They have helped surrogates and intended parents come together in
Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois, and Arkansas. If
you live in the Midwest, they are the surrogacy agency for you! You can
reach them at 913-469-5500 or at kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com
Why Is Surrogacy So Expensive?
The surrogacy process is a life-changing event that requires planning and organizing well in advance of getting started on the journey. Two major areas that influence the surrogacy process are how long it will take, and how much it will cost. The following information will outline the range of costs for the surrogacy process, and hopefully help you understand why it is so (unfortunately) expensive!
There are many factors that influence the overall cost of working with a surrogate to build your family. There are multiple professionals that are a part of the surrogacy process, all with associated fees for services provided. The costs outlined here are what you can expect if you work with a surrogacy agency to build your family through surrogacy. There may be ways to save money if you choose to work independently, and not work with a surrogacy agency. One word of caution however is that what can be a cost-saving strategy can ultimately cost you more money in the long run if the process does not go as expected. And/or it can cost you in other ways, such as added stress, longer time to complete the process (baby!), and the psychological/emotional costs of working independently.
The range of cost to build your family through surrogacy, working with a surrogacy agency, typically falls between $75,000-$150,000+. This does not include the cost of using an egg donor or sperm donor, or donated embryos. If that is part of your family building plan, there will be additional costs specific to that process.
The range of costs related to the surrogacy process are greatly influenced by a few very important factors that will benefit you to give consideration to before moving forward. One major factor that you have control over is which surrogacy agency you work with. Surrogacy agencies have fees for the services that they provide. All agencies structure their services and fees differently, so make sure you understand these well if trying to decide which agency is a better fit for you. The right fit may be influenced by other factors other than agency fees, so give some thought to what else is important to you when working with a surrogate and a surrogacy agency to build your family.
Another factor that can greatly influence your overall cost, and is not completely in your control, is whether your surrogate’s insurance will cover her pregnancy as a surrogate. If you do work with a surrogacy agency, you can let them know that you cannot afford to work with a surrogate that does not have insurance coverage. However, you may have to wait much longer to match with a surrogate. If your surrogate has an exclusion in her insurance policy, then you will have the cost of providing an alternate insurance option.
Other services that you will need when using a surrogate to build your family include the medical treatment provided by a fertility clinic. There is some variance in costs between fertility clinics, so it is important to get cost estimates for the treatment plan for working with a surrogate.
You will also have legal expenses to cover the legal agreements and legal processes that are a part of the surrogacy journey. These fees can vary somewhat between attorneys, however most work within a similar range. One major factor that influences he cost is the state which your attorney practices in, and where your baby will be born.
Another expense is the compensation package for your surrogate. This can vary greatly depending on the surrogacy agency you work with, where they are located, and where your surrogate lives. There are many great surrogates that are willing to accept lesser compensations at smaller agencies. This is definitely a category of cost where more money does not translate into a better experience.
There are other potential surrogate related expenses such as travel, incidentals, co-pays, deductibles, child-care, and lost wages. Your surrogacy agency can help you understand better how much these expenses will be as they vary depending on where your surrogate lives, and where your fertility clinic is located. Pathways To Parenthood: An Egg Donor & Surrogacy Agency can provide the information you are looking for about surrogacy costs and much more! Contact us today to schedule your free consultation at 913-469-5500, or kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com.
What Is Independent Surrogacy?
Independent surrogacy is a surrogacy arrangement that does not involve a surrogacy agency. Independent surrogacy is also known as private surrogacy. If you are an intended parent looking to build your family through surrogacy, independent surrogacy may be an option you are considering. Below are a few important points to consider as you explore your options.
- What is involved in an independent surrogacy?
There are multiple steps in the surrogacy process whether you are working independently, or working with a surrogacy agency. When working with a surrogacy agency, many of the steps are handled “behind the scenes” and so it may not be possible to estimate accurately what an independent surrogacy process will fully involve. Here are the usual steps involved in an independent surrogacy journey. It is important to note that each step listed below involves multiple steps. These are the “behind the scenes” steps a surrogacy agency does for their clients/intended parents.
- Search for, evaluate, and choose an acceptable surrogate
- Receive medical clearance
- Negotiate terms/work through legal process
- Go through medical treatments (sometimes multiple times)
- Manage the pregnancy
- Prepare for delivery/birth
- Prepare for time at the hospital and after the birth for you and your surrogate
- Follow up post birth for well-being and legal status
- How long will the surrogacy process take?
The time frame from the beginning stages of the surrogacy process to baby can vary quite a bit. With an independent surrogacy, 18-24 months is not out of the ordinary. When working with a surrogacy agency, the surrogacy process will be quicker, averaging 12-18 months, with rare exception.
- What are the financial costs?
There is a misconception out there that an independent surrogacy is less expensive than working with a surrogacy agency. It is certainly possible that will be the case, but very likely it will not be less expensive, and it could be more expensive. This depends greatly on many factors, one of which is the service fees of the surrogacy agency, and the average compensation of their surrogates. With an independent surrogacy, when intended parents are going it alone without the protection and expertise of a surrogacy agency, you don’t know what you don’t know. Therefore you may overlook something that can cost you later, either financially, medically, legally, or some combination thereof.
There are certainly more factors to consider, but these 3 are the primary factors to consider when deciding whether to work with a surrogacy agency, or attempt an independent surrogacy. For more information about building your family
through surrogacy, contact Pathways To Parenthood and schedule your free consultation today! You can reach us at 913-469-5500 or kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com.
A Beautiful Ending-a little early……………By Markay Mason
September 10, 2020 was the beautiful end to my surrogacy journey. The sweet baby boy I have been caring for decided he could not wait to meet his parents. He came into this world on 9-10-2020, three weeks earlier than expected. He is so perfect in every single way.
I am in awe of the entire surrogacy process for many reasons. The best reason is that I lived and learned that the greatest good is what we do for one another. My surrogacy journey has ended but the joy and blessing of it all will live in my heart forever.
If you have it in your heart to help a family become parents by becoming a surrogate, contact Pathways To Parenthood today and get started. They have helped surrogates and intended parents come together in Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois, and Arkansas. If you live in the Midwest, they are the surrogacy agency for you! You can reach them at 913-469-5500 or at kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com.