Considering Surrogacy: Turning grief and loss into hope and optimism.
By Kerry Christifano M.A., LCPC
If you are considering becoming a parent through surrogacy, you are doing so most likely after many years of grief and loss. Recognizing and processing the many losses of your infertility and/or recurrent pregnancy loss is essential before embarking upon the surrogacy process.
Some of you reading this post may be considering surrogacy for different reasons other than infertility or recurrent pregnancy loss. It may be that you have a different health condition that prevents you from carrying a child. Or you may be a single person, or same sex couple that needs the help of others to build your family. Whatever your path to surrogacy may be, it most certainly has not been an easy one. Therefore, it is very beneficial to recognize and acknowledge your experience that brought you to this place in your journey. Having a child through surrogacy is an amazing opportunity to become a parent. To ensure the best experience possible, take the time to be sure you are ready emotionally.
One sign that you are emotionally ready to embark upon the surrogacy process to have a child, is if you have some amount of hope and optimism that surrogacy is a way for you to realize your dream of becoming a parent. It may be that the presence is not very large or frequent, but if it is there at all, you are on your way! You may need more time to educate yourself, understand the steps in the surrogacy process, or talk to a counselor about some of your struggles and concerns. All or some of these events can and hopefully will allow your hope and optimism to grow.
If you find that you don’t have any real hope that surrogacy is going to be the right path for you, then you need to consider that you may need more time to process your grief and loss. Of course, it is also a possibility that becoming a parent through surrogacy may not be the right option for you. The only way to know for sure is to take the time to be kind to yourself and/or your partner, and commit to figuring it out. If you find yourself in this place, talking to a counselor that is educated and experienced in grief and loss related to infertility and reproductive issues can be very helpful.
As a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and the owner of Pathways To Parenthood, I have worked with many individuals and couples that have found themselves at the same fork in the road that you are. Contact Pathways To Parenthood today for a free consultation to help you figure out if becoming a parent through surrogacy is the right path for you. If you are considering becoming a surrogate, we would love to hear from you too! You can reach us at 913-469-550 or kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com.
Is Using An Egg Donor in Kansas City Right for You?
If you are trying to decide if using an egg donor to build and grow your family is the right decision for you, it may be that you are struggling with making the decision. You may feel ambivalent about the option of using an egg donor. Or you might think sometimes that it is definitely the path you wish to go, but then soon thereafter are sure it is not. The rollercoaster ride can be exhausting, scary, and overwhelming. But does it mean that you should abandon the idea of using an egg donor to build and grow your family? Probably not.
Most likely, you are just not ready to move forward yet. The best thing to do is give yourself some time, maybe a month or two, and try not to think about it all the time. That is easier to say than to do of course. But if you are able, you will find that after a month or so, when you do revisit the idea, you will feel differently about it than you did before. Whatever you feel and think will give you an indication of whether using an egg donor to build and grow your family is the right choice for you. Talking with a counselor who has knowledge and experience with the topic of egg donation can be very helpful too!
For more information about using an egg donor to build and grow your family, contact us today at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com.
Kansas City’s Only Egg Donor and Surrogacy Agency Seeks Qualified Egg Donor Candidates
Pathways To Parenthood is continuously searching for qualified young women that are willing to give loving families a special and unique opportunity to build and grow their family. We are very pleased with the candidates that we currently have in our Egg Donation Program. Due to a higher than expected demand, we are in need of other women willing to help others!
While we appreciate all young women that apply to be an Egg Donor for Pathways To Parenthood, we do have initial guidelines that a potential donor must meet before applying. These guidelines are:
*Between the ages of 21-30
*Healthy BMI: Under 29 (Click here to view a BMI Chart)
*Physically and emotionally healthy
*Good family health history (including mental health)
*Non-smoker, non-drug user (all donors are tested)
*Have regular periods
*Willing to undergo medical and psychological evaluation
*Willing to take injectable medication
Kansas City Egg Donors’ Attitudes About Egg Donation
Young women who give the gift of life and parenthood to intended parents experience many thoughts and feelings about egg donation. All egg donor candidates go through a psychological evaluation with a mental health professional.
Here are some quotes from potential donors when being interviewed and asked how they feel about donating their eggs:
- “It’s like donating an organ. It’s not a baby.”
- “I don’t have any attachment to my eggs.”
- “It’s just tissue to me.”
- “I wouldn’t have any interest in meeting the person who got my kidney—why should I want to know about my eggs?”
- “I don’t want kids—at least not now – why shouldn’t someone else use my eggs?”
“My eggs just go to waste every month. I feel better using them for something good.”
Here are quotes from potential donors that have been asked why they are donating their eggs:
- “I have an aunt (friend, cousin, sister) who was infertile and I saw how hard it was.”
- “If I need it someday, I would want someone to help me.”
- “Motherhood is a God-given right.”
- “This is a beautiful way to help someone.”
“People who go through all of this to have a baby must really want one. They’ll probably be really good parents.”
For information about becoming an egg donor, or using egg donation to build and grow your family, contact us today at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com.