Testimonials

A Second Surrogacy Journey Around Two Impossible Schedules

Ann and Paul welcomed their son through surrogacy in April 2026, eighteen months after signing with Pathways to Parenthood, and they have already started a second journey. Ann works in broadcasting. Paul works in professional sports. Both jobs involve constant travel, and as Ann puts it, “we often joke we are two ships passing in the night.” A schedule that never lines up did not slow their surrogacy journey down. It changed how the journey was managed.

Why Did Ann and Paul Choose Surrogacy a Second Time?

Ann and Paul spent nearly five years trying to conceive, through multiple rounds of IUI and IVF, before a second medical opinion told them a gestational carrier was their best path. By the summer of 2024 they were interviewing agencies. By October they had signed with Pathways.

Their reason for returning is simple. “We had such a positive experience the first time having our son,” Ann says. “If this is the only way to grow our family, it’s an easy choice to do it again.”

What has changed is their confidence. Knowing the general timeline and the logistical requirements makes the second journey feel far more manageable, and it has widened their options. Having been through the process once, Ann and Paul are now open to matching with a first-time surrogate, something they would not have considered at the start.

How Does Surrogacy Work When Both Parents Have Unpredictable Schedules?

Surrogacy works for parents with unpredictable schedules when the agency builds remote participation into the plan rather than treating it as an exception. Ann and Paul were rarely in the same city, and their journey still moved at a normal pace.

Which Appointments Do Intended Parents Need to Attend?

Most prenatal monitoring, scans, and checkups happened in their surrogate’s home state while Ann and Paul were working. “We luckily were able to FaceTime or call in for all of her appointments,” Ann says. The appointments that required travel were the ones that genuinely required it: their surrogate’s initial exam and bloodwork with their fertility specialist, and the embryo transfer a month later. Both were scheduled far enough ahead to plan around.

What Happens When Something Does Not Go to Plan?

Their surrogate went into labor at 36 weeks. Paul was home, but Ann was traveling for work. Their surrogate called them the moment she suspected contractions, and both parents flew out the next morning and made it in time for the birth. Fast communication is what made that possible, which is why Pathways screens for it during matching.

How Long Does the Surrogacy Process Take for Returning Intended Parents?

Most surrogacy journeys run between 15 and 24 months from signing to delivery. Ann and Paul’s first journey took eighteen months:

• Signed with Pathways: October 2024
• Matched with their surrogate: February 2025
• Confirmed pregnancy: August 2025
• Son born: April 2026

Ann describes the pacing honestly. “Some of the parts felt like they went terribly slow while others felt like they flew by.” Returning intended parents typically move faster through the early stages, since medical records, legal groundwork, and expectations are already established. For a full breakdown of each stage, see the surrogacy process for the intended parents.

How Do You Choose a Surrogacy Agency When You Have Limited Time to Vet One?

Ann and Paul spoke with three agencies in the fall of 2024 and chose Pathways for two reasons: access and matching judgment.

Access came from size. “It’s a smaller agency which we appreciated,” Ann says. “It made us feel like if we had a question or concern, we could go directly to Kerry and Tina for an answer.” For two people with almost no free time, being able to reach a decision maker directly mattered more than a large support structure would have.

Matching judgment showed up immediately. Kerry recommended a surrogate who had carried once before, reasoning that first-time intended parents benefit from a partner who knows the process. Ann and Paul matched with the first woman she suggested. “The fact that she nailed it on the first try means she has a great pulse for who needs what throughout this journey,” Ann says.

On cost, having already spent heavily on IVF, Ann is direct: “it’s a price we would pay time and time again to have our baby boy.” Current fee information about surrogacy costs for future parents is available.

Who Should Consider Surrogacy With a Demanding Career?

Agency-managed surrogacy fits couples who travel frequently, work irregular hours, or cannot control their own calendars, because the agency absorbs the coordination those couples cannot do themselves. Parents returning for a sibling journey also tend to find the second experience considerably easier.

Couples who want to manage matching, contracts, and insurance independently may prefer an independent journey. Securing a secondary insurance policy, since their surrogate’s primary plan did not cover surrogacy, was the hardest part of Ann and Paul’s journey. As Ann puts it, “if sorting out insurance was the most stressful part of our surrogacy journey, we’d say things went pretty well overall.”

Could You Be the Surrogate for a Family Like Ann and Paul’s?

Their son is almost four months old now. Ann credits his temperament to the woman who carried him, saying their surrogate was “so laid back, easy going and carried him in such a great environment that he came into the world with a content demeanor.”

Ann had feared she would struggle to bond with a child she did not carry, a worry she believes most intended mothers share. The worry disappeared pretty quickly after her son was born. “There’s no denying he knows I am his mother. He recognizes my voice, my face, my smell.”

Their surrogate made that possible, and she made Ann part of the pregnancy along the way, texting her whenever she felt a kick or a movement. For any woman considering surrogacy, Ann offers this: “if you decide to be a surrogate and carry a person or couple’s child for them, you will be giving them the greatest gift in the world.”

Ann and Paul are matching again soon. If you would like to learn what carrying for a family looks like, we are glad to answer questions with no commitment attached. Learn more about becoming a surrogate.

Surrogacy vs Adoption: How to Choose Your Next Step

If you are weighing surrogacy vs adoption right now, you are standing at a decision most people never have to make, and there is no version of it that feels simple. Both paths lead to the same place, but neither one is better in any objective sense.

Pathways to Parenthood is a surrogacy agency. We say that up front because you deserve to know where the information you are reading comes from. What we are not going to do is talk you into surrogacy. We work with intended parents who arrive unsure, ask hard questions, and sometimes decide adoption is the better fit for their family. The people who thrive in a surrogacy journey are the ones who chose it clearly.

Here is what we want to share: what each path is built for, what each one costs, and what the real tradeoffs of surrogacy look like.

How Do You Choose Between Surrogacy And Adoption?

Most intended parents expect this decision to involve a long list of considerations. It usually comes down to 3 questions.

The 3 Questions That Actually Help Decide

1. Do you have embryos available, or a realistic route to creating them? With viable embryos on hand, or eggs and sperm that can be used, surrogacy stays on the table. Without that, the option changes shape considerably.
2. Does a genetic link to your child matter to you? There is no correct answer, and the honest one is often uncomfortable to say out loud. Some intended parents feel strongly about a biological connection. Others find that desire fades the moment they picture a specific child.
3. What timeline and budget can you support? Surrogacy costs more and follows a more predictable schedule. Adoption generally costs less and follows a less predictable one. Which kind of uncertainty you can live with matters as much as the numbers.

What Each Path Is Built For

Surrogacy exists for people who cannot safely carry a pregnancy but want a child who is biologically theirs. That includes intended parents with a uterine factor or a medical condition that makes pregnancy dangerous, those who have experienced recurrent loss, same-sex male couples, and single fathers by choice. The defining feature is continuity: you know the medical history, you are involved through the pregnancy, and in most cases parentage is established before birth. You can see how that sequence unfolds in our intended parents’ surrogacy process.

Adoption exists for people ready to parent a child who is already here or on the way, without a genetic tie. It asks something different of you, a willingness to build your family around a child whose beginning you did not shape. Adoptive parents often describe that as the point rather than the compromise. The tradeoff runs the other direction: less predictability in timing and matching, generally lower cost, and a process where someone else holds the final say over whether a particular match moves forward.

What Does Surrogacy Cost Compared To Adoption?

Realistic Cost Ranges For Each Path

Gestational surrogacy in the United States generally runs higher than domestic infant adoption. Published figures from agencies and family-formation attorneys commonly put a full surrogacy journey between roughly $100,000 and $150,000, with some running higher depending on medical circumstances and whether donor eggs or sperm are involved. Domestic infant adoption is typically cited between $20,000 and $50,000, varying by state and by whether the adoption is private or agency-based. Foster care adoption can cost very little, though it follows a different path entirely.

Treat those as guidelines as they come from industry-wide published ranges rather than from us. Any figure that applies to a Pathways journey comes from our own fee schedule. One structural difference is worth knowing: adoptive parents may qualify for a federal adoption tax credit, while surrogacy has fewer financing mechanisms available. As a precaution a tax professional should assess your situation before any action is taken.

Where The Money Goes

The surrogacy figure looks intimidating until you see that it is not one payment to one party. Medical care covers the IVF cycle, the transfer, and prenatal care through delivery. Surrogate compensation covers your surrogate’s time and related expenses such as travel, lost wages, and childcare during appointments. Agency fees fund the screening, matching, and coordination that keep a journey on track. Legal fees cover contracts for both parties and the parentage work that makes you the legal parents.

Seen that way, the number is less a price tag than a budget across a year or more. A meaningful portion goes directly to the woman carrying your child. For a full breakdown, see our surrogacy costs for intended parents.

What Are The Pros And Cons Of Surrogacy For Intended Parents?

The Advantages That Draw Intended Parents To Surrogacy

The benefits of surrogacy start with what most intended parents name first: a genetic connection to your child. When your embryos are used, the child who arrives is biologically yours in a way no other option offers once carrying a pregnancy is off the table.

Predictability is the second draw, and it matters most to people who have already been through fertility treatment. Contracts are negotiated and signed before any medical step begins, and in most states parentage can be established before birth, which means you go home from the hospital as the legal parents.

The third advantage is involvement. Intended parents attend appointments, see ultrasounds, and in most journeys are present at the birth. You know your surrogate’s health history because she was screened thoroughly before matching.

The Challenges And How They Are Managed

Surrogacy costs more than the alternatives. What makes it manageable is transparency about where the money goes and when it is due, spread across a year or more rather than absorbed at once.

The medical and legal steps are more involved than most people anticipate. That friction is what an agency exists to absorb. Your coordinator manages the sequencing and tells you what is needed and when, which is why intended parents rarely describe the paperwork as the hard part.

The emotional complexity is the challenge people underestimate, particularly for intended mothers who grieved the pregnancy they expected to have. What helps is matching well and setting expectations early. When both parties talk through contact preferences and birth plan hopes before contracts are signed, the journey feels like a partnership rather than a transaction.

Choosing The Path To Parenthood That Fits Best

There is no  right or wrong decision or choice..  The choice that comes from your own answers to the three questions make it the best choice for you. 

If you started this guide unsure, you are probably not certain yet, and that is fine. What usually changes is the shape of the question. Instead of asking which option is better, you now know what you are weighing and why.

If surrogacy is where you find yourself leaning, the next step is a conversation, not a commitment. You can reach out to our intended parents team whenever you are ready to think it through with someone who has walked families through this decision many times.

When to Consider Surrogacy if IVF Isn’t Successful

If you’ve been through multiple IVF cycles without success, you already know how hard this road is. The appointments, the waiting, the hope at the start of each round and what it feels like when it doesn’t go the way you needed it to. Asking whether it’s time to consider something different isn’t giving up. It’s just an honest question, and it deserves an honest answer.

Surrogacy may have come up in a conversation with your doctor, or it may be something you’ve started researching on your own. Either way, you’re probably trying to figure out whether it’s actually a realistic option for where you are right now. A clear look at what the surrogacy process actually involves, what it costs, and how to know whether it makes sense to take the next step.

Why Are Doctors Bringing Up Surrogacy After Failed IVF?

If your doctor has mentioned surrogacy, it’s usually because something specific in your history is pointing them in that direction. It’s not a generic suggestion and it means they’re looking at what the data from your cycles is telling them and trying to give you an honest picture of where things stand.

Recurrent implantation failure is one of the most common reasons the conversation comes up, where embryos aren’t attaching despite multiple transfer attempts with good-quality embryos. Uterine conditions like fibroids, scarring, or an abnormal uterine shape can make carrying a pregnancy difficult regardless of embryo quality. For others, it’s repeated pregnancy loss after a positive test, or a consistent pattern of poor embryo quality across cycles. Age-related factors can compound any of these over time.

No single threshold automatically makes surrogacy the recommendation. What tends to prompt the conversation is a pattern across multiple failed cycles, combined with a clearer picture of why they’re failing. When your doctor can identify that the barrier is likely related to carrying rather than conception, what’s the next step if IVF doesn’t work and starts to have a different kind of answer. If you’re not sure what’s driving the recommendation, it’s worth going back and asking them directly.

How Does the Surrogacy Process Work for Intended Parents?

For most people asking how the surrogacy process works, the honest answer is that it’s more structured than they expected, and in some ways that’s a relief. There’s a clear sequence to follow, and you’re not navigating it without support. A good surrogacy agency will walk you through each stage before you’re in the middle of it.

Finding and Matching with a Surrogate

The matching process is usually where things start to feel real. Through an agency, you’ll review profiles of women who have already been screened medically and psychologically and cleared a background check. You’ll have genuine input on who you’re matched with, and a good agency will walk you through what to look for before you commit. Matching can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months depending on your preferences and who’s currently available. Pathways to Parenthood’s surrogate matching process is built to give intended parents a real say in who they’re matched with, not just a name handed over and a form to sign.

The Legal and Medical Steps

Before an embryo transfer occurs , both you and your surrogate work with separate attorneys to draft and sign a legal agreement. The contract covers compensation, expectations during the pregnancy, and how decisions get made. It’s a required step before any transfer occurs, and it’s there to protect everyone involved.

From there, if you have viable embryos, they’ll be transferred to your surrogate through a process similar to a standard frozen embryo transfer. Your fertility clinic and your surrogate’s OB coordinate from that point forward. What does the surrogacy process look like for intended parents once a surrogate is pregnant? Mostly, it looks like staying informed and building a relationship with the person carrying your child. The involvement is different than it would be if you were carrying the pregnancy yourself, but it’s still very much yours.

What Does Surrogacy Cost?

Most intended parents in the United States spend somewhere between $120,000 and $150,000 plus  in total, though the final number depends on several factors specific to your situation.

Agency fees generally can between $2,000 and $50,000 plus and cover coordination, screening, matching, and support throughout the process. Surrogate compensation is typically the largest single expense, with base pay generally falling between $35,000 and $75,000 or more, plus additional allowances for travel, maternity clothing, and lost wages if bed rest becomes necessary. Legal fees for both sides usually land between $5,000 and $10,000. Medical costs are the hardest to predict upfront because they depend on whether additional retrieval cycles are needed and what your surrogate’s insurance covers, and is also dependent on your clinic’s specific medical treatment charges.

Where your surrogate lives affects the total more than people often realize. Compensation norms and insurance landscapes vary significantly by state. Some employers now include surrogacy benefits in their coverage, so if you haven’t talked to HR, it may be worth doing. Pathways to Parenthood can walk you through surrogacy costs in more detail once they understand your situation.

What Does It Actually Look Like to Start the Conversation?

Most people who reach out to a surrogacy agency don’t do it because they’re certain. They do it because continuing IVF doesn’t feel like the right call anymore and they want to understand what else is actually possible, and that’s enough of a reason to make a call.

A first conversation with Pathways to Parenthood is not a commitment. You can ask what you’ve been wondering about, get straight answers on the process and the costs, and walk away with a clearer sense of whether this is a direction worth pursuing.

If you’re at that point, or getting close to it, reaching out to Pathways to Parenthood is a reasonable next step. You don’t have to have it all figured out before you do.

Intended Parent Spotlight: For Alan and Brett, a Second Surrogacy Comes With Something the First One Didn’t

When Brett and Alan tell you about their daughter Dorothea Rose, they light up the way new parents do, and then almost immediately start talking about doing it again.

Dorothea was born last November, and the two Leawood, Kansas dads are still riding the high of it. “Meeting Dorothea and holding her for the first time in the hospital was the most exciting moment of our lives so far,” Brett says. A few weeks later, Alan’s parents made the trip from Kentucky to join Brett’s extended family for Thanksgiving, and Dorothea, just a few weeks old, sat at the center of it. “That was one early moment when we felt really happy and lucky,” Alan says. “There have been lots of happy moments.”

Now they’re preparing to match with a new surrogate and begin their second journey with Pathways to Parenthood, the Kansas based surrogacy agency that guided them through their first. Going in a second time looks different; they know what the process asks of you, what it gives back, and how to show up for it. Their story also happens to answer the questions same-sex couples ask most at the start of their research, about timelines, state law, parental rights, and finding an agency that will actually show up when things get hard.

How Long Does the Surrogacy Process Take for Same-Sex Couples?

Alan and Brett will be the first to tell you: they contacted Pathways To Parenthood before they felt ready. “We had a lot of questions at the time, so we went ahead and contacted Pathways To Parenthood to find out more,” Alan says. “We’re glad we did that because it helped us plan and prepare.”

That instinct serves people well. How long the surrogacy process takes for same-sex couples depends on several factors, and some are specific to same-sex male couples in ways worth understanding early. From initial consultation to birth, a full surrogacy journey typically runs 15 to 24 months. For same-sex male couples, the front end includes steps most heterosexual intended parents skip entirely: selecting an egg donor and creating embryos before surrogate matching can begin. Alan and Brett worked with the University of Kansas Advanced Reproductive Medicine team, and embryo creation was well underway before they were ever matched.

Egg donor selection isn’t a detour. For same-sex male intended parents, it’s where the journey actually starts, and it takes time that’s worth spending well. By the time you sit down with a potential surrogate match, a significant part of your family’s story is already in motion. Going into their second journey, Alan and Brett aren’t starting from zero. They know the rhythm of the process and what the waiting actually feels like. “We’re just excited to go through the process again,” Brett says. “We’re hopeful for the future.”

Does It Matter What State Your Surrogate Lives In?

Yes, and it matters earlier than most couples expect. Where the baby is born determines which state’s laws govern how parentage is established, and for same-sex couples that carries real weight. Some states have clear legal frameworks that protect intended parents’ rights before or at the time of birth. Others are more complicated, and going in without that awareness creates problems that are entirely avoidable.

Pathways to Parenthood works within the Kansas City metro, which means they understand the legal landscape on both sides of the state line and build that knowledge into how they match and coordinate. Both Kansas and Missouri allow gestational surrogacy and have seen favorable legal outcomes for same-sex intended parents, but how parentage is established varies. An experienced agency connects you with attorneys who know both states, so none of that feels like a surprise when your baby arrives.

Alan and Brett’s surrogate location and delivery plan was something Pathways To Parenthood worked through with them during the matching process, not something they had to sort out on their own. “We learned from the outset that she planned to deliver the baby via c-section,” Brett says. “We all kept in good contact throughout the process.”

How Do Same-Sex Couples Establish Parental Rights After Surrogacy?

For same-sex couples, how parental rights are established after surrogacy depends on state law, marital status, and biological connection. The path isn’t universal, but there is a clear process, and it starts well before the birth.

A pre-birth order is a court order obtained during the pregnancy that legally names the intended parents as the child’s parents before the baby is born. Both parents appear on the birth certificate from day one, with no ambiguous window after delivery. Where a pre-birth order isn’t available, second-parent adoption or stepparent adoption can accomplish the same thing. It’s paperwork-heavy but entirely manageable with an experienced legal team and an agency that treats it as a standard part of the process.

For Alan and Brett, the groundwork was done before Dorothea arrived. “We were all together in the hospital when Dorothea was born,” Alan says, noting they also spent time with their surrogate before discharge. “That was a special moment.” Because the legal side was already handled, the day could just be what it was.

How Do Same-Sex Couples Find the Right Surrogacy Agency?

Alan and Brett found Pathways To Parenthood over breakfast. “A good friend and her husband invited us over and offered to answer all our questions,” Brett says. “They suggested we look up Pathways to Parenthood, and that helped us understand much more about the process.” That kind of referral only comes from an agency that has done right by its families.

Finding a surrogate was the hardest part of their first journey. And yet when the time came to begin a second, they went back to the same place. Pathways To Parenthood helped them write the profile letter that introduced them to their surrogate, guided them through matching, and coordinated the legal and medical steps the whole way through. “It has been helpful for us to share with others that we are hoping to grow a family,” Brett says. “Talking with others made us feel more confident and led us to the resources that helped us.”

Dorothea Rose is five months old and thriving. “Our hearts are fuller with love than we ever imagined possible,” Alan says. “We want Dorothea to enjoy her childhood and her family, including her grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, and hopefully a sibling or two.” They’re working on the sibling part now. When you’re ready to start your own conversation, Pathways to Parenthood is a good place to begin.