I Love My Surrogate!
I don’t mean that in a figurative way, or as a way to express my overall joy of becoming a parent through surrogacy. I literally mean I love my surrogate! I realize that for most people the month of February elicits thoughts of romantic love. But for me, the love of my wonderful, amazing, miracle baby, is coupled with an overwhelming feeling of love for my surrogate!
As we all know, there are many types of love that we experience in our lives. The ancient Greeks had several words for love enabling them to distinguish more clearly between different types of love. The love I feel for my surrogate is in a category all by itself, and I feel compelled to share with others! I hope that my words can help someone that is contemplating embarking upon the surrogacy process to become a parent. I think they may also be helpful for any woman that is considering becoming a surrogate to help others.
I had no idea that my journey would culminate (hopefully) with my long-awaited child, but also experiencing a type of love that I did not realize existed. It has enriched my life and reinforced my belief that most humans are good, kind, and want to help others. If I had known that when I started, it would have helped me greatly as I trudged through all of the steps in the surrogacy process. It is not because my surrogacy process and journey was especially difficult compared to others. It is that at the very beginning stages, there were so many steps in the surrogacy process that it felt daunting. Especially after all the years of disappointments and losses that had come before.
Now that I have crossed over to the other side so to speak, it was of course worth it! So now, along with enjoying my newly expanded family, I want to share how it feels to be on the other side! And the love for my surrogate is not something I expected to be feeling and writing about now! But as love oftentimes does, it makes me want to shout from the rooftops and tell everyone what an amazing woman my surrogate is, and tell the world I love her! Happy Valentine’s Day to all! For those of you that may step into the surrogacy world, I hope you experience the unique and amazing love that I have shared with you today!
J.M. (aka Owen’s mom)
If it is in your heart to help a family become parents by becoming a surrogate, contact Pathways To Parenthood today and get started. If having a baby through surrogacy is an option you are considering, take the first step and contact Pathways To Parenthood today! They have helped surrogates and intended parents come together in Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois, and Arkansas. If you live in the Midwest, they are the surrogacy agency for you! You can reach them at 913-469-5500 or at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com.
Happy Holidays From Pathways To Parenthood: An Egg Donor & Surrogacy Agency
From our family to yours, may this holiday season bring you peace, comfort, and joy. It is likely that will look a bit different this year for all of us, but we hope it is attainable for you and yours!
With the new year right around the corner (thank goodness!), we also wish you a fresh new start! If your fresh start includes building your family through egg donation or surrogacy, let’s talk! If you wish to help others by becoming an egg donor or becoming a surrogate, let’s talk!
If surrogacy and/or egg donation is your path to parenthood, or if you wish to help a family become parents by becoming a surrogate or egg donor, contact Pathways To Parenthood today and get started. We have helped surrogates and intended parents come together in Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois, and Arkansas. If you live in the Midwest, we are the surrogacy agency for you! You can reach us at 913-469-5500 or at kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com
One final thought for closing out 2020 and beginning anew in 2021:
New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.
Lao Tzu
COVID-19 and Your Surrogacy Process and/or Egg Donation Cycle: How To Cope With Delays
We all are facing multiple challenges and fears in our daily lives due to the coronavirus pandemic. For those that are in the midst of building their family through surrogacy and/or egg donation, the delays and obstacles due to the coronavirus are another layer of stress, disappointment, and fear.
Regardless of where you might be in your family building journey, delays are undoubtedly occurring for you. Delays are occurring with your fertility clinic, your surrogate and surrogacy agency, your egg donor and egg donor agency, or your egg bank. There may be delays due to the financial aspects of paying for your surrogacy process and/or egg donation process. This reality, although extremely difficult right now, will change and get better over time.
But until then, coping in healthy ways with all of it is essential for your well-being today, and your overall health. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, you may be better prepared than your friends and family members who have never struggled with fertility issues. Or had to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to build their family. Why? Because you have had experience coping with life challenges that threaten every area of life. And make one wonder how they will be able to get through it all.
As you have likely done before, consider and decide how to best help yourself and your partner/ spouse cope with the delays in your family building plans. Along with all the other difficult issues you are facing related to COVID-19. And maybe you can share this information and help someone else cope with all that they are facing in these difficult days we are all living. To that end, here are a few ideas to consider. Some you may have used before, and some maybe you haven’t. Either way, if you can find a way to use them, they do help reduce stress levels, especially when utilized often over time.
- Decide what you have control over, and what you don’t. There are certainly many things you cannot control in your daily life right now. But step back and notice the smaller, daily choices and decisions that you do have control over, and how they impact your overall well-being. Whatever you can do to reduce your daily overall stress and worry, even on the smallest level, will open up resources for you to cope better with the things you cannot control.
- Identify your preferred coping strategies/mechanisms. We all have them. And some are effective at reducing short-term stress (like stuffing difficult emotions), however can create long term problems if over utilized. If you are not sure what coping strategies you typically use, ask someone whose opinion you trust. A counselor is also a good resource to help in this area.
- Gather information and plan ahead. But don’t go overboard! It is helpful to understand what your options are during difficult life experiences. Understand what yours are. And come up with a plan for each option. Once you have done this, it is important to let it rest, and let time pass. Once you have a good plan in place, you need to give it time to unfold. Easier said than done! But essential for your psychological well-being!
- Analyze and reduce/expand your support system. Friends and family can be your best support, or they can be your worst. It may be best to narrow down who you discuss what with. It can also be helpful to find new and different resources for support. If you are not sure where to find them, ask around! It is likely someone you know can offer you resources that you may not have thought of.
We are here for you in these difficult times, and can offer information, support, and guidance. Contact us to learn more about how we can help you in the surrogacy process or egg donation process at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com.
Surrogacy in Kansas City: Services of a Surrogacy Agency
If you plan to use a gestational surrogate to build and grow your family, one big decision you will make in the early stages of the process is whether to work with an agency or “go it alone.” To help you make your decision, it is helpful to know what services a surrogacy agency offers you.
The first service a surrogacy agency offers you is the pre-screening and pre-qualifying of gestational surrogate candidates. They save you A LOT of time and stress by offering you candidates that have already committed to being a gestational surrogate, and have been approved to meet the initial criteria of intended parents and clinics.
They also offer the service of matching you with a surrogate who meets your needs. Understanding what is considered to be a good fit for intended parents and gestational surrogates saves time, money, and stress.
Another important service is guidance and support on all of the steps of the process, including the timing of when tasks should be completed. They also offer guidance and support on the legal process, insurance, and medical procedures and treatments.
Fund management services include the monetary transactions between you and your surrogate. Funds are deposited in an escrow account and distributed to the surrogate per the instructions of your legal agreement with your surrogate.
For information about our surrogacy program, visit our website at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com.