We all are facing multiple challenges and fears in our daily lives due to the coronavirus pandemic. For those that are in the midst of building their family through surrogacy and/or egg donation, the delays and obstacles due to the coronavirus are another layer of stress, disappointment, and fear.
Regardless of where you might be in your family building journey, delays are undoubtedly occurring for you. Delays are occurring with your fertility clinic, your surrogate and surrogacy agency, your egg donor and egg donor agency, or your egg bank. There may be delays due to the financial aspects of paying for your surrogacy process and/or egg donation process. This reality, although extremely difficult right now, will change and get better over time.
But until then, coping in healthy ways with all of it is essential for your well-being today, and your overall health. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, you may be better prepared than your friends and family members who have never struggled with fertility issues. Or had to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to build their family. Why? Because you have had experience coping with life challenges that threaten every area of life. And make one wonder how they will be able to get through it all.
As you have likely done before, consider and decide how to best help yourself and your partner/ spouse cope with the delays in your family building plans. Along with all the other difficult issues you are facing related to COVID-19. And maybe you can share this information and help someone else cope with all that they are facing in these difficult days we are all living. To that end, here are a few ideas to consider. Some you may have used before, and some maybe you haven’t. Either way, if you can find a way to use them, they do help reduce stress levels, especially when utilized often over time.
- Decide what you have control over, and what you don’t. There are certainly many things you cannot control in your daily life right now. But step back and notice the smaller, daily choices and decisions that you do have control over, and how they impact your overall well-being. Whatever you can do to reduce your daily overall stress and worry, even on the smallest level, will open up resources for you to cope better with the things you cannot control.
- Identify your preferred coping strategies/mechanisms. We all have them. And some are effective at reducing short-term stress (like stuffing difficult emotions), however can create long term problems if over utilized. If you are not sure what coping strategies you typically use, ask someone whose opinion you trust. A counselor is also a good resource to help in this area.
- Gather information and plan ahead. But don’t go overboard! It is helpful to understand what your options are during difficult life experiences. Understand what yours are. And come up with a plan for each option. Once you have done this, it is important to let it rest, and let time pass. Once you have a good plan in place, you need to give it time to unfold. Easier said than done! But essential for your psychological well-being!
- Analyze and reduce/expand your support system. Friends and family can be your best support, or they can be your worst. It may be best to narrow down who you discuss what with. It can also be helpful to find new and different resources for support. If you are not sure where to find them, ask around! It is likely someone you know can offer you resources that you may not have thought of.
We are here for you in these difficult times, and can offer information, support, and guidance. Contact us to learn more about how we can help you in the surrogacy process or egg donation process at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com.