Surrogacy Process For Gay Couples: 5 Steps To Get Started
You found “the one” and you are ready to grow your family! You have multiple options to consider, one being using a surrogate mother to have a baby. If you are considering surrogacy as a family building option, there are many steps in the surrogacy process, and it can be a bit overwhelming to know where to start. You can start here by considering these 5 steps to get you started on what may be the biggest journey of your life!
The surrogacy process for gay couples and straight couples is the same in most ways. There are additional considerations for gay intended parents who are at the early stages of considering surrogacy to build their family.
- Understanding the Differences of Gestational vs. Traditional Surrogacy: In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate mother (also often called the gestational carrier) is not biologically related to the baby she is carrying. Instead, the embryo is created in the laboratory using in vitro fertilization (IVF). The embryo may be created using a donor egg and the intended father’s sperm. It is then transferred to the surrogate’s uterus at the fertility clinic. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate doubles as the egg donor and is the biological mother of the baby she is carrying; the embryos are created using sperm from the intended father in a process called intrauterine insemination (IUI). Because the traditional surrogacy process can be more legally and emotionally complicated, this form of surrogacy is now far less common than gestational surrogacy.
- Surrogate mother options: One of the biggest questions is: who will be my surrogate? Some people choose to find a surrogate they did not previously know, either through an agency or through an independent search. Others feel very strongly that they would like their surrogate to be a trusted friend or family member.
- Independent Surrogacy vs. Agency Surrogacy: Generally, there are two types of surrogacy when it comes to working with a professional: an agency surrogacy and an independent surrogacy. In an agency surrogacy, intended parents (that’s you) and surrogates work with a surrogacy agency throughout the entire process: the initial screening, the drafting of the surrogacy plan, finding a match, and coordination of the different legal and medical processes. In an independent surrogacy, intended parents and surrogates usually only work with a surrogacy lawyer specializing in third-party reproduction and a fertility clinic to complete their surrogacy process.
- Financial Investment: Most parents would agree that children are priceless—but no one would argue that having children is expensive. If you’re considering surrogacy, you may be wondering about the average cost of surrogacy, which includes surrogate compensation, surrogate health insurance, surrogacy medical expenses, legal expenses and more. The cost of surrogacy gives many intended parents pause, but when you consider surrogacy as an investment, it is worth the cost. The reality is that most people don’t have the money laying around at the ready to cover the cost of surrogacy. But there are some strategies hopeful parents can use to find funds. Such as, employee benefits and health insurance. It isn’t terribly common, but your employer may have a surrogacy benefit. Personal savings is another option, if you have cash accessible in a savings account or dedicated investment account, that’s a great place to take funds. Consider asking parents, family and friends for assistance in funding your surrogacy. Many will go the route of a bank loan, a second mortgage, a home equity line of credit or pull from their retirement accounts. Ultimately you need to make the decision in choosing how to finance your family that is best for you and your partner.
- Understanding the legal process: Each state has its own surrogacy laws. Some states are friendlier to the process than others. Before you begin your surrogacy journey, you must understand the legal processes governing surrogacy in your state and this is where an experienced attorney specializing in Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) can help.
Lastly, it is important to understand that unlike straight surrogacy, in which both parents’ genetics are often used to create an embryo, gay intended parents must decide whose sperm will be used. This is an important step in the process to discuss with your partner whose sperm will be used to fertilize the egg. Some, intended fathers choose to fertilize multiple eggs for implantation using both partners’ sperm, allowing either or both of them to be the biological father of a child. Because surrogacy for gay men require a surrogate and an egg donor, it’s important to consider if you will use a anonymous egg donor or choose to work with an identified donor like a family member or close friend.
At Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency we know every family has different needs, and we will take the time to understand your unique situation and individual desires to help you start your family. If you’re a gay couple and you’re considering building your family, the team at Pathways To Parenthood can guide you through the process.
WHY NOW IS A GREAT TIME TO BECOME A SURROGATE
The Covid-19 pandemic has cast its shadow over most things, including family planning. Now more than ever before, individuals and couples are looking for surrogates to help make their dreams of parenthood come true. As a result of all this uncertainty, many women are asking themselves, “Should I move forward with being a surrogate in 2022?” If you’re like many women considering becoming a surrogate, you’ve known for a long time that this is something you want to do. But deciding when to start the surrogate process may not be an easy decision.
- Often, women are hesitant to start the process as it may not be a good time for them to be pregnant. This concern is completely understandable, although it can be difficult to find the “perfect” time to be pregnant! It’s important to keep in mind that the surrogacy process takes time and there are a number of steps you will need to take before ever becoming pregnant. Which is why you may want to consider getting started on this journey sooner rather than later. As a surrogate candidate, you do have some influence on the timing of the steps in the process.
- At Pathways To Parenthood, we know how much you and your family will sacrifice to help another person realize their ultimate goal of becoming a parent — and we feel that you deserve to be compensated fairly in return. That’s why we offer a competitive compensation package for all our surrogates. Contact us today to learn about customizing your compensation package.
- We have many intended families waiting to be matched with a surrogate to grow their families! Amazing surrogates are needed now more than ever!
To help you decide if now is right time for you to become a surrogate, we have information to share from an experienced surrogate who recently started the process to become a surrogate again!. We sat down (virtually) with Surrogate Annie to see why now is the right time for her.
What first brought you to surrogacy? What first brought me to Surrogacy was the fact that I absolutely loved being pregnant. I loved everything right down to the delivery. And I love helping others! Surrogacy is the perfect combination of these two factors. Once my second son was born and our family was complete, I started researching Surrogacy. I knew I was done creating my family and was ready to help others build theirs.
Why did you decided to become a surrogate again? Why now? Since my last surrogacy journey ended back in 2017 another journey has always been on my mind, but the timing was not right. I was raising two young sons and really wanted to concentrate on being there for them. Now that they’re both a little older, I feel it’s a great time to add one more journey to my story. Plus, there are so many families that had to put their family building plans on hold due to COVID, that are in need of a surrogate, I knew now was the right and best time to get started. I hate knowing some families have been on hold for 1-2 years, and now are having to wait to be matched with a surrogate.
Do you have any advice to share with prospective surrogates? First off if you’re even considering becoming a surrogate, you’re already a rock star! Surrogacy is an amazing gift to give a family and it is important to put your whole heart in it. The process can be long but it’s so worth it. My best advice is to find an agency much like Pathways To Parenthood that will have your back and help you through any difficult decisions or questions that you have during the process. If you are considering becoming a surrogate, don’t wait! There are so many people waiting to start their family and need your help. Pathways To Parenthood can answer any and all questions you have to ease your mind and help you make the best decision for YOU!
Why did you decide to be a surrogate with Pathways To Parenthood? Choosing Pathways To Parenthood was an easy decision for me. I wanted an agency close to home and one that felt like family. From the first conversation I had with Pathways I knew they were the agency for me. There are so many large agencies out there, but I didn’t want to feel like just a number. I wanted to have open and responsive communication between me and my agency. The staff at Pathways To Parenthood is exceptional and talking to them is like talking to a friend.
Surrogacy is a gift unlike any other and one that only a woman like you can give to hopeful parents. If you’ve decided to become a surrogate, or if you know other women considering surrogacy, now is an opportune time to join our agency. If you live in the Midwest, we are the surrogacy agency for you! You can contact us at 913-469-5500 or at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com
Surrogacy and Health Insurance Explained
For surrogates and intended parents, insurance options for their journey are oftentimes much more complicated than they anticipated. If you are just getting started on your surrogacy journey, whether as a surrogate or Intended Parent, here are the answers to commonly asked questions about medical coverage for a surrogate mother pregnancy.
Do I need health insurance to become a surrogate?
It is preferable if you have your own health insurance if applying to become a surrogate, but it is not necessary. For a surrogacy pregnancy, some type of insurance policy that covers a surrogacy pregnancy is necessary to ensure coverage in the event there is any type of medical emergency. It will be determined during the surrogate’s agency screening process f the surrogate’s health insurance will cover her pregnancy as a surrogate. If not, a specialty insurance plan or Affordable Care Act (ACA) plan will be put in place for coverage. Intended Parents will cover the cost of the insurance if needed.
Does my insurance cover surrogacy?
There are no laws that require an insurance company to cover a surrogate pregnancy. Insurance policy plans vary so it important that, whether you’re an intended parent or prospective surrogate, the determination regarding coverage is made before moving forward in the surrogacy process.
Is there any insurance that prohibits me from becoming a surrogate?
If a woman is receiving Medicaid benefits, she may not be a good candidate for surrogacy. When an individual is on any form of government assistance like Medicaid they must report all income whether taxed or not. All money is considered earned income under the Medicaid qualifying laws. Medicaid places a strict limit on how much one may earn and still retain eligibility for benefits. Payments under surrogacy contracts may put your surrogate over this limit.
What about insurance for the baby?
It is also important to know that only the surrogate and her pregnancy are covered under any insurance put in place for the her pregnancy. Or if she has coverage in her own policy, it is for maternity benefits only, It will not cover the baby after birth. You’ll want to make sure that you notify your personal health insurance company to inform them of the coming birth. They will let you know what you need to do to have the baby covered at birth.
Maternity insurance for surrogates can be a little confusing, and costly, which makes working with an experienced agency like Pathway To Parenthood a huge benefit! Whether you are future parents looking for the ideal surrogate or want to give the gift of new life to a couple in need by becoming a surrogate, you are sure to have many questions! Pathways To Parenthood Egg Donor & Surrogacy Agency is the expert in helping surrogates and parents find each other. Start your journey with us today!
Surviving the Holidays When Everyone But You Has A Baby!
The holiday season is kicking into full swing, and it can be stressful, even in the best of circumstances. The holidays are a time for family, which can mean it’s a time riddled with all kinds of unpleasant feelings, especially if you’re trying to start your own family. Thanksgiving dinner is where we all take a moment to reflect and count our blessings, even though many have yet to receive the only blessing they’re hoping for. And then there are Christmas and Hanukkah where stories of miracles are abundant. Finally, New Year’s Eve has everyone casting their wishes for the upcoming year. If you are going to be seeing your family member that can’t help but constantly ask when you are going to have a baby, your holiday can be even more challenging. The good news is that there are some things you can do to help enjoy the holidays and make them a bit less stressful. So, instead of hiding under your covers from Thanksgiving until New Years, we’ve got some tips to help navigate one of the most wonderful times of the year.
- Have your response ready. The chances of somebody asking you an inappropriate question about when you’re going to have kids is high over the holidays. Instead of being caught off-guard, have your answer ready so you don’t have to stress about what to say. If you find yourself in the middle of an uncomfortable conversation, don’t be afraid to switch the subject. Be direct if that doesn’t work. Say you really don’t want to talk about this right now. It helps if you say it all with a smile on your face. It will make you feel less stressed, and not come across as angry or defensive. But however you can do it is okay. Just be ready!
- Know that you can say no. Don’t feel like you have to attend every event. If a holiday party that includes babies and young children feels like more than you can handle, politely decline the invitation. Give yourself permission to say no to events if you don’t feel comfortable attending or are just not up for it. If you don’t want to go, more than likely you won’t end up having a good time.
- Do something for yourself. Find time to do something you truly enjoy. Book a massage, plan a night or two away with a lot of pampering, set aside time to read a book you enjoy, go on a few long walks, have lunch with a friend, or go to a movie. There are so many holiday commitments – office parties and family gatherings – that take up our free time during the holidays, and we can forget to do activities that we enjoy for ourselves. Take time out for yourself during this busy time of year.
- Do something for others. Volunteering and helping others in need can help you reflect on what you are thankful for in your own life. Volunteer to serve dinner at a shelter, or host a can food drive.
- Start a new family tradition with your partner. You and your partner are a family. Choose activities and create traditions that center on you two as a couple. Consider taking a trip and getting away together. Approaching the holiday in a new way on your own terms can make it a lot more enjoyable.
The holidays can be tough on a lot of people, but they can be especially challenging when you are trying to start a family. Remember that there is no perfect way to navigate the holidays, and only you will know what will work best for your own needs. Hopefully the tips above help you survive the holidays with a little less stress and a little more cheer. If you’re considering surrogacy as a means to grow your family, the team at Pathways To Parenthood is happy to speak with you and answer all your questions. You can learn more about surrogacy on our website.