Matching With Intended Parents: Do Surrogates Get To Choose?
This is a good and important question. And the answer is, it depends. There are many important steps in the surrogacy process when becoming a surrogate. One step that most potential surrogates are curious about, and view as extremely important is having a voice in the matching process. Surrogates prefer, and rightfully so, to have a say in the family they will work with.
One might wonder why this is even a topic to write about. The reason is simple: some surrogacy agencies do not give surrogates much say in the family they match with. A surrogacy agency that has a more business-oriented approach to the surrogacy journey may not understand the importance of having surrogates be fully engaged and involved in the decision-making matching process. If you are looking into becoming a surrogate, and it is important to you to have a say in who you match with, say so! Ask any surrogacy agency you consider working with about their matching process and how it works. Inquire about the steps in the matching process.
Becoming a surrogate and helping someone have a baby is one of the biggest and most important decisions you will make in your life. It can and should be an amazing experience that creates wonderful memories. The memories from your surrogacy journey will be with you forever so be sure they are all that you want them to be! Matching with the right family will greatly increase the likelihood of having wonderful memories of your surrogacy process and experience.
If you have it in your heart to help a family become parents by becoming a surrogate, contact Pathways To Parenthood today and get started. They have helped surrogates and intended parents come together in Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois, and Arkansas. If you live in the Midwest, they are the surrogacy agency for you! You can reach them at 913-469-5500 or at kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com
My Surrogacy Experience: The Journey Continues By: Haley Casillas
Recently I wrote about events that led to my becoming a surrogate. It was a dream that started in my early childhood which came to fruition after having my own child and moving back home to be close to my family.
After deciding to work with my surrogacy agency, Pathways To Parenthood, and completing their screening process, I quickly started the matching process. After writing a letter to prospective intended parents, I waited patiently for the next steps. I didn’t have to wait long! I received a letter from my future family. They had already read my letter to them. I was in my car when I received the letter in an email from my surrogacy agency, so I pulled over to read it. I was so excited to read about them and their story. Their letter brought me to tears. They had so many struggles that lead them to surrogacy. Instantly I felt connected to them and wanted to help them.
Soon after, Pathways To Parenthood introduced me to the intended parents, and we got to know each other a bit before having our match meeting. We spent hours talking and emailing with each other before our match meeting, so I felt like I already knew them well enough to know for certain I wanted to help them. We did have an official “match meeting” and we were all able to meet in person at Pathways To Parenthood’s office. I knew when I sat down that they were the right family for me. I was hopeful they felt the same way about me. Fortunately, they did! And so off we went together to have a baby!
We had many steps in the process before we got to the day, we had all been waiting for-embryo transfer! I am sure everyone that has gone through what we were going through has experienced nervousness and stress. But I was really nervous and stressed! I so wanted my body to cooperate with the process and not let everyone down. Especially since we only had one embryo! One beautiful baby boy embryo!
Luckily that is all we needed. I got pregnant! It was exciting and surreal! And then COVID hit! So, the surrogacy journey became a little complicated after that. But we all made it through, and Baby D came into the world. The feelings I had waiting for the intended parents to come to the hospital before he was born, and then to see his loving family take him in their arms after leaving my body, are truly indescribable!! My heart is full. I just love happy endings! That was the end of my surrogacy journey, but the beginning of a beautiful life for Baby D and his family. My dream of becoming a surrogate, being a surrogate, and helping complete a family had finally come true.
My Surrogacy Experience; By Haley Casillas
I have come to learn that life is a compilation of experiences. Some are beautiful,
some are challenging, and some are life altering. And some are in a category all by
themselves, hard to compare to any other. My journey to and through surrogacy
was unlike anything else I have experienced. It is indescribable because it is so
hard to find words to express what it was like to help a family achieve their
dreams by giving them the gift of life. In hopes of encouraging other women to
consider becoming a surrogate to help others in this way, and to also give hope to
deserving families that surrogacy can help them realize their dreams of becoming
parents, I would like to share what the surrogacy process was like for me.
There were many factors that led up to me becoming a surrogate. It started with
my mom’s kind words that I heard her express when I was young, stating she
would be willing to help someone she loves by carrying a baby for them if they
needed her help. The birth of my own child, and the knowing of love and
happiness that comes with it awoke the memory of my mom’s words from years
ago. I now could understand why she said them. And then my long road through
a marriage that did not work out as I had hoped, and my journey back to my
family to start my life over, is the catalyst that brought me closer to my surrogacy
journey.
Upon returning home and reconnecting with family and friends, I met a woman
who had recently been a surrogate. Listening to her experience ignited a desire in
me to learn more about becoming a surrogate. It was amazing to hear her
surrogacy story. I wanted to learn more about helping others through surrogacy
so I decided to start with contacting a surrogacy agency. The woman who had
shared her surrogacy journey with me stated her surrogacy agency was Pathways
To Parenthood, so I decided to reach out to them to get started.
Once I spoke with Kerry at Pathways To Parenthood, I knew that I wanted to
move forward in the screening process to become a surrogate. After going
through the screening process to become a surrogate, I learned that I was of
sound mind (whew!) and body, and I was one step closer to realizing my dream of
becoming a surrogate! The next steps in the surrogacy process were the
beginnings of matching with my family! It was truly special! I will write more
about that later! Thanks for reading the first part of my story. To be continued…..
If it is your dream to help a family become parents by becoming a
surrogate, contact Pathways To Parenthood today and get started.
They have helped surrogates and intended parents come together in
Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois, and Arkansas. If
you live in the Midwest, they are the surrogacy agency for you! You can
reach them at 913-469-5500 or at kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com
Why Is Surrogacy So Expensive?
The surrogacy process is a life-changing event that requires planning and organizing well in advance of getting started on the journey. Two major areas that influence the surrogacy process are how long it will take, and how much it will cost. The following information will outline the range of costs for the surrogacy process, and hopefully help you understand why it is so (unfortunately) expensive!
There are many factors that influence the overall cost of working with a surrogate to build your family. There are multiple professionals that are a part of the surrogacy process, all with associated fees for services provided. The costs outlined here are what you can expect if you work with a surrogacy agency to build your family through surrogacy. There may be ways to save money if you choose to work independently, and not work with a surrogacy agency. One word of caution however is that what can be a cost-saving strategy can ultimately cost you more money in the long run if the process does not go as expected. And/or it can cost you in other ways, such as added stress, longer time to complete the process (baby!), and the psychological/emotional costs of working independently.
The range of cost to build your family through surrogacy, working with a surrogacy agency, typically falls between $75,000-$150,000+. This does not include the cost of using an egg donor or sperm donor, or donated embryos. If that is part of your family building plan, there will be additional costs specific to that process.
The range of costs related to the surrogacy process are greatly influenced by a few very important factors that will benefit you to give consideration to before moving forward. One major factor that you have control over is which surrogacy agency you work with. Surrogacy agencies have fees for the services that they provide. All agencies structure their services and fees differently, so make sure you understand these well if trying to decide which agency is a better fit for you. The right fit may be influenced by other factors other than agency fees, so give some thought to what else is important to you when working with a surrogate and a surrogacy agency to build your family.
Another factor that can greatly influence your overall cost, and is not completely in your control, is whether your surrogate’s insurance will cover her pregnancy as a surrogate. If you do work with a surrogacy agency, you can let them know that you cannot afford to work with a surrogate that does not have insurance coverage. However, you may have to wait much longer to match with a surrogate. If your surrogate has an exclusion in her insurance policy, then you will have the cost of providing an alternate insurance option.
Other services that you will need when using a surrogate to build your family include the medical treatment provided by a fertility clinic. There is some variance in costs between fertility clinics, so it is important to get cost estimates for the treatment plan for working with a surrogate.
You will also have legal expenses to cover the legal agreements and legal processes that are a part of the surrogacy journey. These fees can vary somewhat between attorneys, however most work within a similar range. One major factor that influences he cost is the state which your attorney practices in, and where your baby will be born.
Another expense is the compensation package for your surrogate. This can vary greatly depending on the surrogacy agency you work with, where they are located, and where your surrogate lives. There are many great surrogates that are willing to accept lesser compensations at smaller agencies. This is definitely a category of cost where more money does not translate into a better experience.
There are other potential surrogate related expenses such as travel, incidentals, co-pays, deductibles, child-care, and lost wages. Your surrogacy agency can help you understand better how much these expenses will be as they vary depending on where your surrogate lives, and where your fertility clinic is located. Pathways To Parenthood: An Egg Donor & Surrogacy Agency can provide the information you are looking for about surrogacy costs and much more! Contact us today to schedule your free consultation at 913-469-5500, or kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com.