My Surrogacy Experience: The Journey Continues By: Haley Casillas
Recently I wrote about events that led to my becoming a surrogate. It was a dream that started in my early childhood which came to fruition after having my own child and moving back home to be close to my family.
After deciding to work with my surrogacy agency, Pathways To Parenthood, and completing their screening process, I quickly started the matching process. After writing a letter to prospective intended parents, I waited patiently for the next steps. I didn’t have to wait long! I received a letter from my future family. They had already read my letter to them. I was in my car when I received the letter in an email from my surrogacy agency, so I pulled over to read it. I was so excited to read about them and their story. Their letter brought me to tears. They had so many struggles that lead them to surrogacy. Instantly I felt connected to them and wanted to help them.
Soon after, Pathways To Parenthood introduced me to the intended parents, and we got to know each other a bit before having our match meeting. We spent hours talking and emailing with each other before our match meeting, so I felt like I already knew them well enough to know for certain I wanted to help them. We did have an official “match meeting” and we were all able to meet in person at Pathways To Parenthood’s office. I knew when I sat down that they were the right family for me. I was hopeful they felt the same way about me. Fortunately, they did! And so off we went together to have a baby!
We had many steps in the process before we got to the day, we had all been waiting for-embryo transfer! I am sure everyone that has gone through what we were going through has experienced nervousness and stress. But I was really nervous and stressed! I so wanted my body to cooperate with the process and not let everyone down. Especially since we only had one embryo! One beautiful baby boy embryo!
Luckily that is all we needed. I got pregnant! It was exciting and surreal! And then COVID hit! So, the surrogacy journey became a little complicated after that. But we all made it through, and Baby D came into the world. The feelings I had waiting for the intended parents to come to the hospital before he was born, and then to see his loving family take him in their arms after leaving my body, are truly indescribable!! My heart is full. I just love happy endings! That was the end of my surrogacy journey, but the beginning of a beautiful life for Baby D and his family. My dream of becoming a surrogate, being a surrogate, and helping complete a family had finally come true.
Why Is Surrogacy So Expensive?
The surrogacy process is a life-changing event that requires planning and organizing well in advance of getting started on the journey. Two major areas that influence the surrogacy process are how long it will take, and how much it will cost. The following information will outline the range of costs for the surrogacy process, and hopefully help you understand why it is so (unfortunately) expensive!
There are many factors that influence the overall cost of working with a surrogate to build your family. There are multiple professionals that are a part of the surrogacy process, all with associated fees for services provided. The costs outlined here are what you can expect if you work with a surrogacy agency to build your family through surrogacy. There may be ways to save money if you choose to work independently, and not work with a surrogacy agency. One word of caution however is that what can be a cost-saving strategy can ultimately cost you more money in the long run if the process does not go as expected. And/or it can cost you in other ways, such as added stress, longer time to complete the process (baby!), and the psychological/emotional costs of working independently.
The range of cost to build your family through surrogacy, working with a surrogacy agency, typically falls between $75,000-$150,000+. This does not include the cost of using an egg donor or sperm donor, or donated embryos. If that is part of your family building plan, there will be additional costs specific to that process.
The range of costs related to the surrogacy process are greatly influenced by a few very important factors that will benefit you to give consideration to before moving forward. One major factor that you have control over is which surrogacy agency you work with. Surrogacy agencies have fees for the services that they provide. All agencies structure their services and fees differently, so make sure you understand these well if trying to decide which agency is a better fit for you. The right fit may be influenced by other factors other than agency fees, so give some thought to what else is important to you when working with a surrogate and a surrogacy agency to build your family.
Another factor that can greatly influence your overall cost, and is not completely in your control, is whether your surrogate’s insurance will cover her pregnancy as a surrogate. If you do work with a surrogacy agency, you can let them know that you cannot afford to work with a surrogate that does not have insurance coverage. However, you may have to wait much longer to match with a surrogate. If your surrogate has an exclusion in her insurance policy, then you will have the cost of providing an alternate insurance option.
Other services that you will need when using a surrogate to build your family include the medical treatment provided by a fertility clinic. There is some variance in costs between fertility clinics, so it is important to get cost estimates for the treatment plan for working with a surrogate.
You will also have legal expenses to cover the legal agreements and legal processes that are a part of the surrogacy journey. These fees can vary somewhat between attorneys, however most work within a similar range. One major factor that influences he cost is the state which your attorney practices in, and where your baby will be born.
Another expense is the compensation package for your surrogate. This can vary greatly depending on the surrogacy agency you work with, where they are located, and where your surrogate lives. There are many great surrogates that are willing to accept lesser compensations at smaller agencies. This is definitely a category of cost where more money does not translate into a better experience.
There are other potential surrogate related expenses such as travel, incidentals, co-pays, deductibles, child-care, and lost wages. Your surrogacy agency can help you understand better how much these expenses will be as they vary depending on where your surrogate lives, and where your fertility clinic is located. Pathways To Parenthood: An Egg Donor & Surrogacy Agency can provide the information you are looking for about surrogacy costs and much more! Contact us today to schedule your free consultation at 913-469-5500, or kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com.
What Is Independent Surrogacy?
Independent surrogacy is a surrogacy arrangement that does not involve a surrogacy agency. Independent surrogacy is also known as private surrogacy. If you are an intended parent looking to build your family through surrogacy, independent surrogacy may be an option you are considering. Below are a few important points to consider as you explore your options.
- What is involved in an independent surrogacy?
There are multiple steps in the surrogacy process whether you are working independently, or working with a surrogacy agency. When working with a surrogacy agency, many of the steps are handled “behind the scenes” and so it may not be possible to estimate accurately what an independent surrogacy process will fully involve. Here are the usual steps involved in an independent surrogacy journey. It is important to note that each step listed below involves multiple steps. These are the “behind the scenes” steps a surrogacy agency does for their clients/intended parents.
- Search for, evaluate, and choose an acceptable surrogate
- Receive medical clearance
- Negotiate terms/work through legal process
- Go through medical treatments (sometimes multiple times)
- Manage the pregnancy
- Prepare for delivery/birth
- Prepare for time at the hospital and after the birth for you and your surrogate
- Follow up post birth for well-being and legal status
- How long will the surrogacy process take?
The time frame from the beginning stages of the surrogacy process to baby can vary quite a bit. With an independent surrogacy, 18-24 months is not out of the ordinary. When working with a surrogacy agency, the surrogacy process will be quicker, averaging 12-18 months, with rare exception.
- What are the financial costs?
There is a misconception out there that an independent surrogacy is less expensive than working with a surrogacy agency. It is certainly possible that will be the case, but very likely it will not be less expensive, and it could be more expensive. This depends greatly on many factors, one of which is the service fees of the surrogacy agency, and the average compensation of their surrogates. With an independent surrogacy, when intended parents are going it alone without the protection and expertise of a surrogacy agency, you don’t know what you don’t know. Therefore you may overlook something that can cost you later, either financially, medically, legally, or some combination thereof.
There are certainly more factors to consider, but these 3 are the primary factors to consider when deciding whether to work with a surrogacy agency, or attempt an independent surrogacy. For more information about building your family
through surrogacy, contact Pathways To Parenthood and schedule your free consultation today! You can reach us at 913-469-5500 or kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com.
A Beautiful Ending-a little early……………By Markay Mason
September 10, 2020 was the beautiful end to my surrogacy journey. The sweet baby boy I have been caring for decided he could not wait to meet his parents. He came into this world on 9-10-2020, three weeks earlier than expected. He is so perfect in every single way.
I am in awe of the entire surrogacy process for many reasons. The best reason is that I lived and learned that the greatest good is what we do for one another. My surrogacy journey has ended but the joy and blessing of it all will live in my heart forever.
If you have it in your heart to help a family become parents by becoming a surrogate, contact Pathways To Parenthood today and get started. They have helped surrogates and intended parents come together in Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois, and Arkansas. If you live in the Midwest, they are the surrogacy agency for you! You can reach them at 913-469-5500 or at kerry@pathwaystoparenthood.com.