Testimonials

On Becoming A Surrogate…….AGAIN!

The decision to become a surrogate is one that most women give much thought to before moving forward in the surrogacy process. There are many things to consider and learn before knowing if becoming a surrogate is the right decision for you. And it is important to take the time to be thoughtful, do research about surrogacy, talk to past surrogates, talk to a surrogacy agency (like Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency!) and be absolutely sure you want to commit to becoming a surrogate.

For surrogate Veronica, her decision to become a surrogate for a second time was a quick and easy decision for her!  She had a wonderful experience during her first surrogacy process and was ready right away to help another family realize their dream of becoming parents.  We are thankful that Veronica is ready and willing to help another Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy family by being their surrogate.

Read below about Veronica’s first surrogacy journey and her decision to become a surrogate….again!

1. Describe your first surrogacy journey?  What is the most memorable part of the surrogacy process/pregnancy/post-birth?

My first surrogacy journey was absolutely perfect!  It was such a joy working with very kind intended parents. My pregnancy was very easy!  As much as I loved being pregnant, it was so nice to come home post-birth without a newborn to attend to! The best part overall was watching the intended parents get to be parents (again) at the birth. Their joy was infectious and being a part of that moment for another family was magical.

2. What made you want to become a surrogate again?  Why now?

It was such a good experience the first time that there was no reason not to do it again! I pretty much decided I wanted to be a surrogate again as soon as possible.  I spoke with my surrogacy agency about my wishes, and we worked together to match with a family and go through all of the steps in the surrogacy process to do an embryo transfer at around 1-year post- partum since that is the recommendation of my OB/GYN.

3. Did your husband and children have a positive experience during your surrogacy pregnancy?  Afterwards?

Yes! My husband also enjoyed being able to watch the intended parents become parents. And for my kids it was a very hands-on lesson in “not every family is made the same way.” It was also a one of a kind way to teach them about helping others.

4.  Anything you would like to be different for your next surrogacy journey?

Honestly, it’s hard to imagine improving on the first experience. Maybe take more pictures. I’m so bad at remembering to document things.

5.   What advice would you give to someone considering becoming a surrogate?

Some first-time surrogates think about what they will feel like emotionally being pregnant as a surrogate and having someone else’s baby. I was unsure how I would feel emotionally being pregnant with someone else’s child.  I am here to say that it all just fell into place so easily. It is an emotional experience but it’s not the same as when the baby is your own. The joy of watching someone else receive that gift is something I will treasure forever.  So my advice would be to focus on the end point of the surrogacy process and if you can imagine feeling joyous giving the gift of a baby and family to intended parents, then you will know that surrogacy is the right choice for you.

We have intended parents waiting to be matched with a surrogate to grow their families! Amazing surrogates are needed now more than ever!  If you’ve decided to become a surrogate, now is a great time to get started. If you live in the Midwest, we are the surrogacy agency for you!  You can contact us at 913-469-5500 or at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com

Surrogate Amanda: The Perfect Ending To A Surrogacy Journey!

Deciding to become a surrogate is the first step in one of the most unique and rewarding life experiences. As Pathways To Parenthood’s surrogate Amanda highlights in her story, the surrogacy process has many steps, potential stops and starts, and unexpected turns. But the end of her surrogacy journey led to a beautiful life and a beautiful new start for a family that made it all worth it!

Amanda recently culminated her amazing surrogacy journey delivering a beautiful, healthy baby girl. She shared some of her thoughts about her surrogacy journey with us recently.

What was the best part of your surrogacy journey (aside from the birth of a beautiful baby)?

There were many high points in my surrogacy pregnancy.  I enjoyed the relationship that I formed with the intended parents and other surrogates I met along the way.  I appreciated the strong work of my surrogacy agency, as well as my legal and medical teams. The best part of this journey was having the opportunity to experience pregnancy again in such a new and exciting way.  My intended parents gave me the honor of creating and protecting their miracle baby, and I was fascinated by each change in my body as it morphed and made room for their child to grow and come into this world.

What was it like to see your intended parents hold their baby after you gave birth? 

I got to see the moment they put this little baby into her mother’s arms.  I can’t begin to quantify the bewildered joy on her face, but I knew in that moment that any struggle in this journey was worth it.  Seeing baby snuggled with her parents in the hospital almost brought me to tears.  I was reminded of why I did this, to unite these wonderful people with their precious miracle. 

How did you feel after the baby was born? 

Initially, I was elated, exhausted, and sore.  As the days went on after delivery, I got to ride the hormonal rollercoaster.  About the time the excess fluid left, so did my excess in moods. Never underestimate the power of hormones.  I got through it, and my body has been steadily on the mend.  I have been able to exercise regularly and have established a good schedule for pumping breast milk for surro-baby.

Do you think that you will be a surrogate again? 

I would become a surrogate again without hesitation.  Despite its challenges, this experience was so joyful and positively life-altering that it solidified my desire to complete another journey.

Do you have any advice for women that are considering becoming a surrogate? 

This experience will change you as a person, so please take your time deciding whether you want to take this journey. Even under the best circumstances, it requires a level of hard work and dedication found almost nowhere else in life.  Prepare yourself for the potentials for heartache and loss, because not everything goes according to plan.  Expect to adapt throughout the process like my IPs and I did during a global pandemic and major law changes.  This journey will also not be a fast one.  There are an incredible number of elements in a surrogacy journey, and they all necessitate their own time frames to ensure everyone’s health and safety.  With that being said, there is an immense amount of joy in the experience of being a surrogate.  You will meet amazing people, have outstanding teams working with you, get to be a part of a medically miraculous experience, and potentially (and likely) bring a precious child into this world to help start or complete a family.

Important Terms About The Surrogacy Process

The Surrogacy Process involves many steps, many helpers, and many terms which may be unfamiliar to you as you start on your surrogacy journey. It is helpful to understand terms you will hear and see throughout the surrogacy process. This list will help you decode some common terms you’ll hear during your journey as a surrogate or intended parent.

Surrogacy Agency: An agency is a professional organization like Pathways To Parenthood Surrogacy Agency, that provides a range of services for both intended parents and surrogates that ensures a successful surrogacy journey. Surrogacy agencies provide expertise and guidance through all stages of the surrogacy process which gives surrogates and intended parents the comfort of knowing they don’t have to manage everything themselves.

Surrogacy: is a method of assisted reproductive technology where a woman (known as a ‘surrogate’ or ‘gestational carrier’) carries a pregnancy for an individual or a couple.

Gestational Carrier/Surrogate/Surrogate Mother: These terms can be used interchangeably. However, a general surrogate definition is a woman carrying a child for intended parents who are unable to build a family on their own. There are two types of surrogates: traditional surrogates and gestational surrogates.

A gestational surrogate/carrier is not genetically connected to the child they carry in their uterus.  Gestational surrogates get pregnant when an embryo that was previously created through in vitro fertilization is transferred into her uterus.  The embryo is created with either intended mother’s egg or donor egg, and intended father’s sperm or donor sperm. Gestational surrogates are referred to as gestational carriers in the medical and legal fields of reproductive medicine.

A traditional surrogate both donates her own egg and carries a pregnancy for an individual or couple. The pregnancy is usually achieved through intrauterine insemination (IUI) with sperm from the intended father. Donor sperm may also be used.

Intended Parent (IP): This is the person who cannot, or chooses not to, carry a baby to term and hires a surrogate instead. Their egg or sperm may be a part of the transferred embryo, and they may be a single parent or married.

Intended Mother (IM): Woman who will become the legal parent of the child born through surrogacy.

Intended Father (IF): Man who will become the legal parent of the child born through surrogacy.

Egg Donor: A woman who agrees to undergo a protocol of medication to produce multiple eggs, and who then donates those eggs  to recipient Intended Parents; the donor does not  have legal rights to the eggs or the resulting embryos or child if a child is born.

Sperm donor: A man who donates his sperm for use in artificial insemination or other fertility treatments.

Surrogacy Attorney: Surrogacy attorneys are essential for ensuring that the rights of both the gestational carrier and the intended parents are protected. They help intended parents understand local surrogacy laws and regulations, ensure that the process is completed in a legal manner, finalize the surrogacy contract, and establish intended parents’ parental rights as early as possible (more on this is specified in the ‘surrogacy contract’ definition, below).  They also ensure that surrogate’s rights are protected as carrier and not as a legal parent.  Each party (surrogate and intended parent(s)) will have their own attorney (legal representation) for their surrogacy journey.

Matching: A process in which surrogate candidates and intended parent(s) are brought together by a surrogacy agency.  The goal to match surrogates and intended parents that are a good fit for each other based on their needs and preferences.  Once a surrogate candidate and intended parents(s) match, they will move forward in the process to work together to get pregnant and have a baby!

In Vitro Fertilization (IVF): is the process of creating an embryo from an egg and sperm combined outside the body in a laboratory and done by an embryologist . Once fertilized, the embryo is then transferred into the uterus of either the intended mother or the surrogate.

Surrogacy Contract: Also known as a Carrier Agreement or Surrogate Mother Contract, this legal document sets out the rights and obligations of both the woman carrying the pregnancy (surrogate) and the intended parents.

Assisted Reproduction Technology (ART): Any procedure that involves manipulation of eggs or sperm to establish pregnancy in treatment of infertility, such as in vitro fertilization, embryo transfer, egg and sperm donation, or gestational surrogacy.

Pre-Birth Order (PBO): A court order obtained prior to the birth of a child being carried by a Gestational Carrier that provides for the establishment of the Intended Parents’ legal parentage, and to place the names of the Intended Parent(s) on the child’s birth certificate.

Post-Birth Order (PBO): Similar to a pre-birth order, except that this court order is obtained after the birth.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when faced with all the technicalities involved in surrogacy. However, a good understanding of the key terms  and processes you’ll encounter will help ensure a smoother journey. Pathways to Parenthood is experienced in growing families through gestational surrogacy. We provide assistance to couples facing infertility, same-sex couples, and single men and women seeking to start a family through surrogacy. If you live in the Midwest, we are the surrogacy agency for you!  You can contact us at 913-469-5500 or at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com

Surrogate Feature: Katie’s Twin Surrogacy Journey.

Current IVF trends have moved toward Single Embryo Transfer (SET). But some surrogate mothers are willing to allow transfer of two embryos, which increases the chance of a multiples pregnancy. Carrying twins during a surrogacy journey is an incredible way to help someone start their family or even help them complete it. We sat down (virtually) with Surrogate Katie. Katie  is in her second trimester of her second surrogacy journey and is currently pregnant with twins.

When did you first consider becoming a surrogate and why? and why did you decide to become a surrogate again?  I’m not sure how I first found out surrogacy was an option, but the seed was planted in my life when a dear friend of mine disclosed that she has always been told she wouldn’t be able to have children. At the time, we were freshmen in college, sitting in my dorm room pouring our hearts out after a late night of studying. After she told me that about herself, I immediately offered up my services! We even made a silly little “contract” that we both signed saying that if, in fact, she wasn’t able to carry a pregnancy, I would be her surrogate. Thankfully, she never had to revisit that contract and is actually expecting at this very moment. For me, though, it was that silly night of girls becoming friends that would have a far more profound influence on my future. After the wonderful experience with the first surrogacy and the uneventful pregnancies I am fortunate to have had in the past, I knew I wanted to be able to experience that at least one more time.

What is it like to carry twins as a surrogate?  Twins as a surrogate equates to a lot, and I mean a LOT, of appointments. Other than the added appointments, it’s a lot of fun. Prior to this I’ve never been pregnant with twins and I am thoroughly enjoying and learning the personalities of these two little ladies. My own children were large, around 9lbs for both my boys, so I honestly haven’t really felt all that different, at least so far! Things are growing a little faster than before, but still at a manageable pace. Sometimes I worry I’ve been a little disappointing to the Intended Parents because of the lack of drama with this pregnancy which makes me laugh. We will talk about pregnancy symptoms that are felt by most women and how those symptoms can be more exaggerated with twins, but I have been fortunate to have nothing more than a very brief bout of nausea that was easily remedied with a waffle in bed!

How was the decision made to transfer two embryos and possibly get pregnant with twins?  The two embryos that were transferred were the only embryos that qualified and one of the embryos had much less of a chance of making it than the other. Because of the increased chance that neither embryo would result in a successful pregnancy, the doctor, my husband and I, and the Intended Parents were faced with the option of transferring both and risk twins, or transfer one and risk an unsuccessful transfer. During my first pregnancy, we transferred two embryos that resulted in both taking but only one making it past eight weeks and then to birth. Because of that my husband and I had already had conversations regarding the what ifs of transferring 2 embryos. To me, the decision rested in the hands of the IPs. When they decided to proceed with both, that’s what we did!

How did your Intended Parent’s react when they found out you were pregnant with twins?   That is a funny story. Approximately five days after the embryo transfer, you have your serum (blood) HCG levels tested every couple of days to establish whether pregnancy was successful and if the embryos are progressing normally. With twins, HCG levels can be substantially higher than with singleton pregnancies. My levels, however, were indicative of a singleton pregnancy. When the IPs asked what I thought of the levels, I told them there is no way there is more than one baby in there! I was very confident in that and the pregnancy symptoms I was having were little to none. They received that information well and responded by saying that although they would love two babies, one would probably be easier to manage, especially the first time around. Fast forward to our six weeks ultrasound, the first ultrasound used to confirm the heartbeat, and wouldn’t you know it there are TWO heartbeats! The IPs maintained their composure very well at the appointment while I loudly and enthusiastically exclaimed “Holy s***, there’s two!” As to whether their freak-out moment came later on or not, I’m not sure, but they have adapted beautifully even through some stresses that occurred during our first trimester (but have fully resolved).

How has your pregnancy been carrying twins?   To the majority of women struggling with horrible nausea, fatigue, or any number of other pregnancy symptoms, close your ears and cover your eyes. This pregnancy has been incredible!  I don’t normally suffer much during normal pregnancies aside from being tired, slight nausea, and very sore other parts which is probably one of the reasons why I am so happy to carry for others. This pregnancy has been even easier! I didn’t feel nearly as tired in the beginning and, as I said earlier, I had about 3 mornings that I woke up with the tiniest bit of nausea that went away after my darling husband brought me a waffle or some toast in bed. That being said and now that I am well into the second trimester, my back will be a achy from time to time, I occasionally need a nap, sometimes my ankles get a little swollen after a long day, but to me those are just normal when growing another human or two.

What has been your favorite part of being a surrogate?   I often receive comments from people about just how selfless I am and how much they admire me for helping others fulfill their dream of starting a family, but I have to admit that there definitely is a selfish component to it. I enjoy being pregnant and I also enjoy giving birth, however usually what follows those two things is the responsibility of caring for and nurturing the life that has just entered the world. My husband and I have two boys, ages ten and four, and that is the extent of our family. We are thrilled with our boys, but we do not plan on having anymore children. Surrogacy not only fills my soul in the sense of seeing families become whole with the birth of their babies, but also fulfills my own desire to experience pregnancy and birth without the third step…and lack of sleep afterwards.

Do you have any advice to women considering becoming a surrogate and making a decision about transferring two embryos and possibly carrying twins?  To women considering becoming a surrogate, do your research, have the tough conversations with your partner or primary support person, have your support team established, and know just how freaking cool of a journey surrogacy is. If the decision is made to transfer two embryos, plan on both implanting. Pregnancy can require a lot of mental and emotional preparation, but pregnancy with multiples comes with far more risks and possibilities that make planning anything difficult. I have many coworkers and friends who will ask me questions about whether I plan on getting an epidural, having another unmedicated birth, having a vaginal delivery, or a cesarean section, or even if I think I will go into labor early. The only answer I have been able to respond with is “I don’t know.” I am currently perfecting the art of going with the flow while still trying to have the best interest of myself and the IPs. There are and will be a lot of unanswered questions that won’t have a resolution until it is already happening; however, the same could be said about any pregnancy. Good luck, have fun, and allow yourself to love in all sorts of different ways.

It is amazing to hear and share a surrogate’s unique experience.  It makes us even more grateful to be able to work with amazing women like Katie.

Are you interested in embarking on this journey to become a surrogate? Now is the best time to join our agency. We have families waiting for their surrogate! If you live in the Midwest, we are the surrogacy agency for you!  You can contact us at 913-469-5500 or at www.pathwaystoparenthood.com