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Preparing For Your Surrogacy Process: How To Talk To Your Kids

If you plan to become a surrogate, there are many factors to consider. There are also many questions you probably have about how things will work and what to expect.

Common questions many women have when preparing to become a surrogate are related to how to talk to their children about their plans. Their questions usually are similar to these questions:

  1. When should I tell my children about my plans to become a surrogate?
  2. Will my children understand what being a surrogate means?
  3. How will my surrogacy process and surrogacy pregnancy impact my children?

These are really good questions, and it is beneficial to have really good answers before becoming a surrogate. Here are a few pointers that will help you in creating your plan of how to talk to your children about surrogacy.

  1. There is no a perfect time to tell your children about your plans to become a surrogate. What is most important is that you tell them before you become pregnant. Most surrogates wait until they are matched with intended parent(s) and medically cleared by a fertility clinic before telling their children. This plan ensures your children will not be confused if ultimately you are not able to move forward in being a surrogate.
  2. It is important to tell your children about your plans to become a surrogate before you are pregnant. This plan communicates to them that it is a family decision, AND that their opinion matters! If your children are younger than 2 or 3 years old, this is not as important. However, children as young as 3 or 4 can undoubtedly benefit from hearing they are part of a family decision, and that what they think and feel matters!
  3. For the most part, children are positively impacted by their moms being a surrogate. They are usually excited about a baby being born and being a part of helping another family.  Like most other life experiences, children tend to mimic their parent’s feelings and actions about a particular topic. If you and your partner/spouse are happy and positive about the surrogacy process and journey, your children will most likely have a similar response to it.

To learn more about becoming a surrogate or working with a surrogate, contact Pathways To Parenthood today to schedule a free consultation appointment.  You can reach us at 913-469-5500 or We are the Surrogacy Experts and are ready to help you get started!