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Supporting Fathers-To-Be Through Surrogacy

The road of infertility is generally a winding one with unexpected twists and turns.  When the path involves surrogacy there are even more steps and unknowns, seemingly overwhelming at times.  Furthermore, it can be particularly hard to make sense of these emotional issues when others are celebrating milestones such as fatherhood.  While each surrogacy experience is unique, the one commonality is the emotional toll on intended parents.  One of the many benefits of using a surrogacy agency is the support they can provide for all fathers as they embark on their journey to parenthood.

One area that can be particularly difficult are celebratory events such as Father’s Day.  The role as a Father-To-Be is important and deserves recognition and support.  While each individual and couple move through infertility and the surrogacy process differently, there are some ways to help ease the struggle.  Open and honest communication are vital to move forward as a couple.  It may also help to plan ahead for times that others are celebrating and be prepared to handle the questions from family and friends about surrogacy, the surrogacy process or your surrogacy agency.

Some other ways to support the Father-To-Be in your life, whether it is your partner, your son, your brother, or a close friend.  Ask him what he wants, or doesn’t want to do, on Father’s Day.  Holidays are usually associated with family traditions that can become an emotional roller coaster when in the midst of family building treatments and/or going through the surrogacy process.  Holidays can be a painful reminder of what you do not (yet) have.  Offer reassurance that he will be supported in whatever he decides he wants to do this holiday.

If your Father-To-Be is a partner or spouse, one option is to plan a couples day for the two of you.  While family and friends mean well, unless they have battled infertility and the surrogacy process, they really don’t get the struggle holidays bring.  Celebrating Father’s Day in a different way that involves focus on you as a couple may be a refreshing and distracting way to get through the difficult holiday.  When you are in the surrogacy process it can feel like everything revolves around getting pregnant.  You can make this day an infertility / surrogacy-free time to reconnect in ways you did as a couple before pregnancy/having a baby took over your life.

Fathers’ Day can be a time to reflect on how far you’ve come.  The journey to get to the surrogacy process likely has been a long one.  The Father-To-Be in your life has probably made many sacrifices to get to this point.  He likely envisions what it will be like to be a dad.  As a couple the two of you can decide the new traditions you want to create once your baby arrives.

We realize there are many different journeys to parenthood.  If you have considered helping a family become parents by becoming a surrogate, contact Pathways to Parenthood today and get started!  If having a baby through surrogacy and/or egg donation is an option you are considering to make your dreams of becoming a parent come true, we want to hear from you!  Take the first step and contact Pathways to Parenthood today.  We have helped surrogates and intended parents come together in Kansas, Missouri, Colorado, Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois and Arkansas.  If you live in the Midwest, we are the surrogacy agency for you!  You can contact us at 913-469-5500 or at